Joke

[Kathy]

Reportedly, Albert Ag Minister Jack Hayden (my MLA) made this joke at a recent industry meeting:

"How do you get three ranchers to agree on something?.... Shoot two!"

Why don't we come up with some of our own MLA jokes. Wait, we'll have the last laugh on election day.

[per]

Cathy I was there and heard it with my own ears. It was an improvement on his opening sentence.

[kato]

Two drunk ranchers were staggering home from the bar when they wandered through a graveyard.

They passed a headstone that read, Here Lies a Member of Parliament and an Honest Man.

"What do you know?" said one rancher to the other, "They're burying them two at a time now."

[kato]

I should have said Politician, (covers more people)..... my mistake. To make up for that, here's another one.

They were having a charity hockey tournament out on Lake Winnipeg last winter. It was ranchers versus politicians. One of the politicians got a breakaway.

They're still looking for him.

[kato]

On a roll.......

Why do they have a dotted line down the center of the hallway at the Legislature?

So the politicians going home early don't collide with the ones coming in late.

badda boom.......

[kato]

Did you hear the one about the honest politician?





Neither did I.

[DogPatch]

Kato....... Why is anyone still looking for the one on a breakaway?

[DogPatch]

Unless the possie are all politician.....?

[kato]

Ha Ha! He had the puck, and Steven wanted it back, I guess.

[burnt]

How many politicians does it take to grease a combine?






Just one, but you gotta run him through really slow . . .

[DogPatch]

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokerepublicanhell.htm

Change Republicans to the Party of your Choice.

Republicans in Hell

While walking down the street one day, a Republican head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in." says the Republican.

"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the Republican head of state.

"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts the Republican to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil (a Republican, too), who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator
rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the Republican head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."

He reflects for a minute, then the head of state answers: "Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to the Republican and lays an arm on his neck.

"I don't understand," stammers the Republican head of state. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"

[Kathy]

per [Cathy I was there and heard it with my own ears. It was an improvement on his opening sentence.]

What was his (Jackie's) opening sentence?

[per]

Hi Kathy, I don't remember exactly but it was a reference to Stampeding too much and the bags under his eyes and sleeping through the sessions of the conference. In all fairness he probably was Stampeding too much and was tired. It just didn't come off to well in the audience. It is the way it is though and he is the Minister. Not too big of a deal now that a couple of weeks have passed. I hope he has been able to get some rest. The Minister's job is busy and full of pressure.