Any suggestions

[rkaiser]

My dear wife is coming home from her two week tropical vacation in Estevan today.

I've vacuumed and mopped up the floor, cleaned that dam toilet, and emptied the garbage.

My mom always said "Never let those women think that you need them"-------
Wait a minute...... was she really teaching me that or was she conning me into housework. Oh well I learned both things anyway.

So - Got this house pretty clean and sprayed enough of that air freshener around that it smells like a Mexican safe house in here. Anything else?

Oh yeah my main question for any of you real men out there is - have you ever bought one of those precooked BBQ chickens and how long should I put that puppy in the stove prior to her arrival to make sure it smells and looks like I spent a lot of time with it?

Comments from gentlemen only please, you ladies just pretend you never even read this post.

Thanks Randy

[WRAPper]

Make sure empty pizza boxes aren't still covering the counter and at least shovel the pile of laundrey nearer to washing machine, sweep the 6 inches of straw out of the porch too. OH yah and make sure all the laundrey which is geting swept is male and yours.

[rkaiser]

Got it W****r.
Thank goodness for those sacrificed close hangers. Plugged the vaccuum in the porch. Another trick my mom taught me.

You know, the more I think about it the trickier my good old mom seems.

Anyway, things are looking good. Found some leaves in the cupboard to put on that wingless little bird, and darn good thing I opened that cupboard. I thought rye bread had a better shelf life than that.

Don't forget to take that fancy package the BBQ bird came in out to the garbage bin.

[cakadu]

Randy - kudos to you on your efforts to make your wife's homecoming a happy one. There is nothing a wife likes better on her return is to not be faced with 2 weeks worth of dirt, dishes and dirty clothes.

Like many of us wives, she may recognize that the chicken came from the store, but will be so pleased that you tried, she will likely overlook the mountain of laundry.

Back when we were first married, my husband put his clothes in the laundry room. On a small pile of clothes, there was a note pinned, that said "don't put these in the dryer." They were polypropelene and would shrink from man size to barbie doll size if thrown into the dryer. He didn't have to worry about it because the note was turned over and neatly penned with "then do them yourself." Funny, I've never had a note since.

Cheers, and I hope your wife's homecoming was a happy one.

[intr3est]

Randy you goof, those leaves were probably your wife's maple leaf collection, were they waxed? Oh well they'll probably stick to the chicken pretty good!

[rkaiser]

Don't GOOF me intr3est, who the hell would put her leaf collection in the bread cupboard anyway. You're right, I tried to get em off, and they ain't coming.
Have to go to the airport now, I'll have to figure out an explaination later, UNLESS you got some brain wave idea.

[dalek]

One of the old-timers here was at a conference in Toronto about 40 years ago with 3 other guys in the same room. They put some dainty undergarments in the bottom of his suitcase and his wife unpacked when he got home. He had to drag all 3 of them to his house that night to explain to his wife.
I guess what I'm saying is, have any of the boys been over since she left?

[dalek]

I would suggest that suggesting your wife might enjoy a nice dinner out on the way home from the airport might be the best idea !!!
Also make sure you tidied up the living room so she won't know you spent a lot of time on the couch watching TV !!!

[dalek]

Just had to add that this entire excercise reminds me a lot of when we would leave the TEENAGERS alone when we went away for a weekend.
The damn stuff they didn't do to look innocent when we got home ! One of them ( eldest SON ) even went so far as to bake cookies one time. Mind you his brother was a 'snitch' so things usually didn't get out of hand. Don't know if you have any 'snitches' around or not Randy !!!!

[Bez]

Wife and daughters went away for about two and a half weeks.

I called up some "maid company" the day before they were to come home. About 150 bucks later that house was a clean as it had ever been.

Never told the old girl - but she did find out somehow. I think it was one of the boys a couple of farms down that snitched on me.

Wife never told ME she found out until I was bragging to a neighbours wife when they were visiting for lunch one day about how clean I kept the house while she was gone.

Oh well .... I tried ...

Bez

[intr3est]

Well Randy, if you did a good enough job of cleaning, and I'm sure you did, then you won't have a chance to read this until tomorrow, wink, wink. But I hope when she tasted the Maple, you told her I had sent you some of the good Ont. Maple syrup for that chicken.

[cakadu]

Bez - you're actually onto something there. I have told my husband on several occasions that the BEST present he could ever give me, besides a total spa weekend, would be to have someone come in and clean the house once a year. Not that I don't clean, it's just that it would be nice to have it done from top to bottom at least once a year.

Hmm, in reading this, maybe I've got my sights set too low. In any event, that would thrill me to no end as housework ranks up there right behind taxes and root canal.

[les]

Bez I did the same thing and my wife found out about it also.I also cleaned out the freezer and both fridges.It is alot easier to clean out a freezer when she isnt there to decide what to throw out and what to keep.

[les]

How many of the gals have taken advantage of their man being away for a few days to clean his SHOP or HIS office ? I know some fellows that have returned from their hunting trip or bull sale and not been able to find a thing in their office because the missus had decided it needed a good cleaning!

[les]

I think they do that so we dont go no where lol