Some Late night Humor!!!!!

[SASKFARMER3]

Are you a Liberal, a Conservative, or A Saskatchewan Hunter?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you...

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

Liberal's Answer:

• Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
• Does the man look poor or oppressed?
• Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
• Could we run away?
• What does my wife think?
• What about the kids?
• Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
• What does the law say about this situation?
• Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
• Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
• Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
• Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
• If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
• Should I call 9-1-1?
• Why is this street so deserted?
• We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
• Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour.
• I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
• This is all so confusing!

.........................................
Conservative's Answer:

BANG!


.....................................




Saskatchewan's Hunter's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

[silverback]

Liberal answer:

If only the long form census was not voluntary we could identify this guys needs better.

[gregpet]

Liberal answer may be now we need a knife registry.

[silverback]

Liberal answer: Where is the United Nations when I really need them?

[riders2010]

Another version,

The so called terrorist was actually Raheem Jaf---, he was actually saying in aribic Allan! Allan! you son of a B-----!! You stole my coccaine off the breast of my wife!! You conservative Bast--- I traded 3 mules and a jackass named Steve for that shit!!

The Liberal family that respects multiculturalism understands what he is saying and look behind themselves and there is a conservative mp standing there.

The conservative MP allan is standing behind and sweating bullets, fumbling with his cell phone trying to dial Steve, because in all the excitement he dropped his conservative talking points papers and doesn't know what to say. He gets through to Steve but he has to go through security check. Precious seconds are going by. Finally Steve answers, this better be good al, I was doing Liberace in the study.

Al stunned for a second, needs to come up with some spin real fast to satisfy steve, steve doesn't like it when you get caught, so al's story is that there is a left wing communist asshole, that brought some coccaine to the prostitute party we had last week on the hill now he wants some kinda kickback inside information on what government programs he can scam as payment.

Steve is mad very mad, you need to clean this up. And don't call me Steve on the phone the commies are watching me that's why I am bunkered down here at the command post you idiot.

Alright then Dick.(Al)

Why did you call me Dick? (Steve,Dick?)

Because thinking of you and the prostitutes that was the first thing that came to my mind. (Al)

Nevermind is your gun registered? Take a photo and send it to security we'll trace it on face book see if there are any links to the Liberals?(Steve,Dick?)

Al is shitting bricks he knows its Raheem, he doesn't want steve to know he stole from Raheem, now he panics and takes a picture of Raheem but also takes one of another innocent younger person walking by. He cuts Raheems face out of the picture and inserts the innocent canadian face to Raheem's body in the picture. Thanking God and Bev Oda for all the instrucion of cut and pasting documents.

Steve gets the picture and replies, that sob is on facebook he was filling up Duceppe's car with gas, western gas of all things. You know what to do.(Steve)

Al is stumped he never actually has to make decision about anything before what to do, what to do. Guns not registered, so Al's gonna shoot, in the panic he shoots off his foot. Raheem flees. The Liberals try to help, Al has a brainwave he asks the Liberals to hold the gun. They do the cops arrive.

Al tells the cops, he was walking down the street when he came apon these Liberals mugging this poor muslim and demanding he give them his donkeys. When he tried to help the Liberals shot his foot off.

The Liberal family goes to newly built maximum security prison right behnd parlaiment. Steve ordered that no trial was needed since their fingerprints were on the unregistered gun and further revealed on facebook that they actually had lunch with Tommy Douglas years ago, thanks again to cut and paste.

Steve stays boss, Al gets big promotion as minister in charge of gun control.

[TOM4CWB]

Rider,

... you are bitter...

Sad... none of this is actually funny...

Too many innocent people have died...

So the humour... is in the surprise... of saying outlandish, absurd, and the unexpected... a natural human response... if you are not the person in the 'joke'...

Guns are not 'funny'
Terrorists are not 'funny'
Shooting someone and killing them... is not 'funny'...

We have been accepting of the 'this hour has 22 minutes' 'satire' that some call 'humour'... paid for by our billions of tax dollars.

Was that your point Rider?

[wmoebis]

Tom, It was SF3 that started this trend. He too should be reprimanded. I thought this trend was in bad taste from it's inception.

We have gone down this road before on this centre.

Just my opinion.

[TOM4CWB]

wmoebis,

As I pointed out... this type of 'humour' has become a part of Canadian 'Culture'... with the wild and absurd comment being accepted by the vast majority of us as 'funny'.

'Dry 'British' humour' many would say... at first glance.

It is the second... 'sober' thought... that then asks... is this truly 'funny'... or have we become hard and bitter... while accusing others passing it off as 'humour'.

Many would say... you are too serious... you are spoiling all the 'fun'!

I do try to 'think outside the 'box''... which is why I asked the question!

It is very healthy to as these 'rational' questions... more than just being 'politically correct'!!!

[SASKFARMER3]

Its called humor and one has to laugh once in a while. Truth hurts a liberal would think like the joke.

[TOM4CWB]

Truth is... I am not a Liberal... but would try to find a way around using a gun! Most Canadians would I believe.

SF3... labels can be dangerous!

[TOM4CWB]

From Wiki:

"Liberalism (from the Latin liberalis, "of freedom")[1] is the belief in the importance of liberty and equal rights.[2] Liberals espouse a wide array of views depending on their understanding of these principles, but most liberals support such fundamental ideas as constitutions, liberal democracy, free and fair elections, human rights, capitalism, free trade, and the freedom of religion.[3][4][5][6][7] These ideas are widely accepted, even by political groups that do not openly profess a liberal ideological orientation. Liberalism encompasses several intellectual trends and traditions, but the dominant variants are classical liberalism, which became popular in the eighteenth century, and social liberalism, which became popular in the twentieth century.

Liberalism first became a powerful force in the Age of Enlightenment, rejecting several foundational assumptions that dominated most earlier theories of government, such as hereditary status, established religion, absolute monarchy, and the Divine Right of Kings. The early liberal thinker John Locke, who is often credited for the creation of liberalism as a distinct philosophical tradition, employed the concept of natural rights and the social contract to argue that the rule of law should replace absolutism in government, that rulers were subject to the consent of the governed, and that private individuals had a fundamental right to life, liberty, and property.

The revolutionaries in the American Revolution and the French Revolution used liberal philosophy to justify the armed overthrow of tyrannical rule. The nineteenth century saw liberal governments established in nations across Europe, Latin America, and North America. Liberal ideas spread even further in the twentieth century, when liberal democracies triumphed in two world wars and survived major ideological challenges from fascism and communism. Conservatism, fundamentalism, and military dictatorship remain powerful opponents of liberalism. Today, liberals are organized politically on all major continents. They have played a decisive role in the growth of republics, the spread of civil rights and civil liberties, the establishment of the modern welfare state, the institution of religious toleration and religious freedom, and the development of globalization. Political scientist Alan Wolfe wrote, "liberalism is the answer for which modernity is the question".[8]"

Well according to this... I AM part Liberal!

OH NO! Just not 'Iggy' red book socialist Liberal!

According to this definition PM Harper and the Conservatives are also Liberal!

[mustardman]

Rider , That was good, you should do some script writing. lol

[riders2010]

Sf3's post was funny I enjoyed it, if mine offended you tom or anyone else my apology, it was a bit of an air farce type gag, but for some extreme right it's only a joke if it's anything but a conservative in it. Too bad.

Maybe it's not too funny because too much of it has things that are not too far from what we are hearing as being true.

If you really are so worried about people shooting people why not have every available tool at hand for law enforcement to use. If I was a cop directed to a house obviously every time I would need to be aware, but if I knew there was trouble before I got there and knew 4 guns and 4 people were in the house might make me more aware wouldn't it? And ya ya I know they could have 20 unregistered ones but if they are not wanting to register them why would that be?

How long does it take to register a gun? and when it is done it's done big deal. I got nothing to hide so it's no problem. Many people think it offensive to end the registry when they have had family members die from the use of a gun.

[rockpile]

About this time in an election campaign, I think
humour from all sides is more than welcome.
Something I've long wondered about though - why
would a responsible firearm owner not volunteer to
register their weapons? Is it because they are not so
responsible after all? Ask any rural municipal
politician how much they spend on replacing road
signs every year that have been shot up? Haven't
any of you ever experienced having the sound of a
high powered rifle shot whiz over your ears , while
standing in your yard, because some good old boys
well into a quart of whiskey saw some deer on the
bluff above your house and yard and decided to
take a crack. Well, I have, and truthfully, it really
pissed me off! BTW, my long guns are registered
and I also happen to posses a restricted weapon.
Hey, no sweat, just responsible.
Rockpile

[riders2010]

I forgot to mention I'd rather see money spent on a registry that helps some people, I know not all cases but in some it does, than using taxpayer money on shithouses built 100 miles from g8 summit just so one of my mps could get elected. Should be some sort of tough on criminals stand on that one. If you really want to put it into perspective.