Interesting Quote

[charliep]

As one of my co-workers turns 50 today (still a young guy), I see the following quote from E-Malt I thought I would share.

Quote of the week

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be."
Karen Ravn

[bucket]

That's like watching saturday night live when they use to have "Deep thoughts by Jack Handy"

[cottonpicken]

Love handy quotes,especially when it is raining,again.


The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth
part of the face.

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no
music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each
other.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about
cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all
the time, for no good reason.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute
thing to tell him is “God is crying.” And if he asks why
God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is
“Probably because of something you did.”

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t
open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think
a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

I think a good gift for the President would be a
chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you’d
probably have to run up to him real quick and give it
to him.

If you’re in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade
at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins.
Maybe it’ll make everyone think how stupid war is,
and while they are thinking, you can throw a real
grenade at them.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile
in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them,
you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

Sometimes, when I lie in bed at night and look up at
the stars, I think to myself, “Man! I really need to fix
that roof.”


It’s easy to sit there and say you’d like to have more
money. And I guess that’s what I like about it. It’s
easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth,
wanting that money.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world
without hate. And I can picture us attacking that
world, because they’d never expect it.

Somebody told me how frightening it was how much
topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story
around the campfire and nobody got scared.

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I
think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then
Jumping Off Something.

It’s true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets
its wings. But what they don’t tell you is that every
time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel gets set
on fire.

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet
sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think,
what is I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it
wouldn’t seem quite so funny.

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way,
when he came to town, we could all take a shot at
him and not feel too bad.

Contrary to what most people say, the most
dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the
tiger or even the elephant. It’s a shark riding on an
elephant’s back, just trampling and eating everything
they see.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and
latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and
tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that
thing.

If you’re a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls
off, and then gets right back on you, I think you
should buck him off right away.

I remember how my Great Uncle Jerry would sit on the
porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a
toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost
as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy
whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he
had whittled off the paint.

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and
demand your rights, even if you don’t know what
your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking
to. Then, on the way out, slam the door.

Instead of a Seeing Eye dog, what about a gun? It’s
cheaper than a dog, plus if you walk around shooting
all the time people are going to get out of the way.
Cars, too!

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus’s-flytrap.
The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won’t bother the
frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But
some other stuff could happen and it could be like
ambition.

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp,
because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people
will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

I remember one day I was at Grandpa’s farm and I
asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said,
“Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don’t
we go out to the horse pasture and I’ll show you.” So
we did, and there on the ground were my parents
having sex.

When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked
better, Monet or Manet, I said, “I like mayonnaise.”
She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then
she left. I guess she went to try to find some
mayonnaise for me.

Why do the caterpillar and the ant have to be
enemies? One eats leaves, and the other eats
caterpillars. Oh, I see now.

Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball
in half? Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the
hard way.

My favourite:

it takes a big man to cry,but it takes an even bigger
man to laugh at that man.