Joke or No Joke, who could tell?

[AdamSmith]

Former Iraqi Information Minister close to inking a deal with the Canadian Wheat Board

Winnipeg - CWB Directors and Staff could scarcely contain their jubilation at the thought of securing a deal that would bring Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf to Winnipeg. The former Information Minister of Iraq is to be hired by the Canadian Wheat Board to head up it’s beleaguered Information Department. “We couldn’t be more delighted” said a Canadian Wheat Board official not wanting to be identified. “A spokesman of Mohammed’s calibre just doesn’t come along every day and when the opportunity presented itself the other day, we just jumped at it.”

The official cautioned that Mohammed is still in Iraq and many hurdles remain before he can be spreading his falsehoods and lies here in Canada. It’s a three week donkey ride through hostile territory before he can get to Iran. From there it’s expected Mr. Saeed al-Sahhaf will be taken by al-Qaeda operatives out into the Gulf of Oman where he will be picked up by the Canadian Navy. Once on board the HMCS Iroquois the former Iraqi Information Minister will be safe from American or British capture. “As long as he stays away from the Sea King he be alright” the official said.

With the fall of Saddam Hussein’s Ba’ath party regime, Mr. Sahhaf sent out inquiries and resumes to prospective new employers with the hope of finding a new regime to work for. Mr. Sahhaf, speaking from an underground bunker somewhere north of Baghdad, said that the Canadian Wheat Board was one of his top choices. “Oh yes, the Canadian Wheat Board and I are a perfect fit” he said. Once his Paris based agent and the CWB work out the finer details and with the help of the Canadian Navy he’ll be denying the undeniable at 423 Main St. Winnipeg in the very near future.

Some of Mr. Saeed al-Sahhaf most memorable performances came in the dieing days of Saddam’s regime. “There are no American troops at Saddam airport. We killed many Americans and drove them out.” and “There are no American Tanks in Baghdad, the Americans tombs will be in Iraq-those bastards” The CWB equivalent of these bold faced lies and delusions will be coming to Canada in the not to distant future and the Canadian Wheat Board is the perfect employer for the Iraqi Information Minister.

[eatmorewheat]

He will surly enjoying stating that the CWB extracts a premium from a market where premiums don't exist.

"We have maximised producer returns and minimized their rights. All enemies of the board will burn in their combines."

Perhaps regime change should occur next right here in Canada.

[parsley]

Mr. Saeed al-Sahhaf was the Information Minister who said, “God will roast their stomachs in hell”, wasn’t he?

With his ‘unlimited communications budget’ days in Iraq now suddenly over,
the CWB could indeed become Mr. Saeed al-Sahhaf's vocational salvation because they have no accountability, they are Government-sanctioned and they are the “right mindset”.

And Prime Minister Chretien has promised to not turn him
over to the USA or Britain.

Parsley

[TOM4CWB]

AdamSmith;

I see this on DTN;

Japan-1st SBS Tender

DTN Report 04/11


Grain and Feed 2003 Results of 1st SBS Tender for Feed Wheat and Barley
The following information comes from the US Ag Attache in Japan.
On March 24, the Food Agency (FA) of the Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries (MAFF) conducted its first simultaneous buy and sell (SBS) tender for feed wheat and barley during Japanese fiscal year 2003 (April 2003 - March 2004). The FA contracted 11,890 metric tons (MT) of wheat for feed and 160,000 MT of barley for feed. Information on country allocations is not available because country of origin is not required on the bids. However, according to trade sources at least 6,000 MT of Chinese wheat and 40,000 MT of German barley will be purchased.

Wheat for Feed 11,890MT 18,334Yen/MT ($222/mtCDN@ CEC CDN$/JYen 82.38 – June 03)

Barley for Feed 160,000MT 20,839Yen/MT ($253/mtCDN)

And the CWB says we have the highest feed barley prices on the planet...

There would be $100/t in this price to ship to Japan from Alberta right now, as we speak.

The think the CWB information ministry must has gotten the Iraq information Ministry in trouble... not as you report!

Just to refresh your memory on THe CWB Ministry of Misinformation;

Bob Roehle will not listen in silence as farmers complain about the Canadian Wheat Board's performance in managing market risk.

As a public voice of the board, he figures it's his job to make sure that if farmers decide to dismantle the agency's export monopoly, they do it with their eyes wide open.

It could cost them the benefits of price pooling.

Annual price pooling is paying farmers an average price over a selling period to help stabilize producer income, he said.

"What you have is a big sugar daddy called the federal government who's underwriting operations of a $6 billion sales agency. What more do you need?"

If farmers understood how the board worked and the value of pooling, they might not be as anxious to embrace forward pricing, Roehle said.

Misinformation is being used to sway farmers to support breaking away from the monopoly, he said.

And within the board, it is often difficult to understand the opponents' point of view.

"There's a feeling within the board that we're on the side of angels and that if farmers could just understand the organization the way we see it, they'd understand."

The CWB Misinformation Ministry also created this;


"I don't admit this very often but in the last few years, whenever a parcel shows up on my desk, I look at it and make sure I know who it's from and that it's legitimate," said Roehle, head of corporate communications.

"The thought always crosses my mind that this could be one of those parcels that blows up in your face. That doesn't make you feel very good."


IMHO,THE CWB must have trained the Iraq Ministry of Misinformation, not the reverse.

[Everest]

Every three months the Communications Ministry at the CWB issues a statement quatifying the alleged savings the board have achieved through their management of transportation. According to CWB information, a secretly applied benchmarking formula quantifies the benefits of the single desk marketing system. Chairman Ritter repeatedly says that the "farmer elected Board of Directors" run things at the CWB. The operatives, sanctioned by their political masters, brow-beat farmers into doing punitive buybacks, when it is not required by law.

Who set the standard? Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf and his Iraqi Information Ministry, or Mr. Ritter and the CWB?

How about contining with a list of CWB al-Sahhafisms here on this thread?!? I'm sure there are more.....

[TOM4CWB]

Everest;

Good Idea... infact I was wondering about publishing a Deck of Cards?

The Feed wheat contract Japan just tendered was at $222/tCDN, while the CWB Vancouver PRO is at $139/tCDN

THe CWB quoted Cda Fd Wht price April 11 at Tbay was $210.28/t and the producer direct US Buyback was close to $193/t.

AND THE CWB CLAIMS IT ATTRIBUTES the correct income in the wheat pool, to each grade.... IMHO obviously these people at the CWB have been smoking something...

How can we possibly trust anything the CWB says?

[TOM4CWB]

Everest;

Shouldn't Minister GOODALE be the Ace of Spades, or should it be Rod, or Chairman Ritter ?

[rockpile]

Gentlemen,
You are too funny. Actually, I did a little research and discovered that al-Sahhaf had already been contracted by Monsanto to introduce GMO wheat to Canadian farmers. As for 'weapons of mass destruction', how about US farm and trade policy? And quit making fun of those Sea-kings, I have a tractor I use that's older than those things and its never crashed yet. And quit picking on Rod Flaman and Ken Ritter, like them or not, it took real guts to do what they did, in this hostile environment of pulpit passion over grain marketing. What can you say for those other two, who have said that even if they see the CWB as an advantage, they would never betray their supporters. Talk about saying 'no to know'. Tom, I appreciate you standing up and putting your money where your mouth is, and in agreeing to put all grains into a 'dual market' basket. In a perfect world, void of the intrinsic corruption of modern global politics, I might actually be leading the charge on this one. Say, could you get your friends in the AB govt to support this type of an experiment? I'd be for it! Bet they don't have the balls though. It's always been about cheap raw grain with those guys, so we could attract feeding and processing and create jobs (low paying) for all those poor fellows who couldn't make a go of it farming. That's called 'moving up the value chain', or was it 'jerking your chain'? Whatever, there'll be a focus group for it soon.
Rockpile

[TOM4CWB]

Rockpile;

Did you hear the Iraq information Minister had a meeting with all Saddam's doubles the other day?

He told Saddam's doubles... I have some good news... and some bad news;

I will start with the good news... Saddam is still alive!

Now for the bad news for you... he lost an arm and a leg!

Rockpile;

I am sorry the Chairman Ritter does not intend to keep his word, when he says for myself or my neighbour to trust him, to be capable of looking after our needed resolutions to CWB problems he himself has created.

If Chairman Ritter were honest, you would be right... however, he has said and done things that force me to proclaim that he has not kept his word.

Speaking of keeping his word, Rod has not kept the principals he was elected on, Freedom, Choice, and Standing up for what is right in a free and democratic country that respects property rights.

Certainly Rod has capitalised big time by "going with the flow" finacially.

It was very convenient for Rod to switch sides... Rod knows all the problems the CWB "monopoly" creates... as extracting a "premium" is a two way street.

If I soak someone for a product... It will likely be the last time I do business with them... unless I give up more the next time, than I got extra the first time!

This is not a zero sum game... breaking trust and "extracting a premium" beyond what is fair, will never create a trustworthy long term business relationship.

I have seen far too much corruption inherent in the CWB working system, to be taken in by the example of a few "good sales" that look exceptional on paper, to ever trust anything the CWB might show me on any sale.

There must be accountability... because absolute power corrupts absolutely, and the CWB chooses not be transparent... therefore it is hiding it's corruption.

I am a doubting Thomas... no question!

Rockpile... show me the premium returns... then I will stop complaining. With the PRO's the CWB just put out... even you must admit... that CWB marketing is a disaster!