Agriville's Annual Valentine's Day Contest

[parsley]

Dear Agrivillers,

You are invited to compose a Valentine Limerick and post it on this thread. It must be an original. Use the standard limerick format. It can be funny or romantic, or goofy or historical or cynical or tongue in cheek, or anything you'd like it to be. You may begin posting immediately. You may post as many limericks as you wish. The contest closes on February 12 at 11:55 PM.

All limericks posted will be judged and the chosen winner will receive a gift in the mail. Parsley

[JDGreen]

There once was a farmer JDGreen
Who was wed to a big city queen
She put up with the hurt,
Whilst he played in the dirt
As the money he made was obscene...

There is an mp named Ritz
Who doesn't know apples from shits!!
With no cars in site
How is the right??
The railways are doing the pits!!


There pars couple cornies to get Ya started


Us farmers get left with the pits...

[parsley]

Delighted you were up in the middle of the night composing limericks! ) #ManOfMyHeart. Pars

[LQQKY]

There once was a creeper named LQQKY
Who sometimes from high school played hooky
He'd drink beer in his car
Or go into the bar
And out to the field to have nooky.

[Braveheart]

There once was a chick from Wawota
Who thought Muslims were over their quota.
She loves food that's organic,
But this gal's no mechanic,
So likes Chevys over Toyota

[jdepape]

On Agriville we got to know bucket
A farmer who posts with a musket
If he wrote with more care
He would at least appear fair
And he wouldn’t make others say “**** it”

[Braveheart]

There once was a guy named Charlie,
Whose passion was riding a Harley.
With a cycle of chrome,
Thru the country he'll roam,
And no longer will worry about barley.

[Braveheart]

I said Hon you should hear what I read.
She said get off that damned site, come to bed.
I don't care about Parsley,
You love me too sparsely,
Now love me or I'm leaving with Fred.

[Braveheart]

Shades of Grey will open soon
Causing all the women to swoon.
Look I'm no dope,
I've bought lots of rope,
And knot tying will be a big boon.

[bucket]

There once was a fellow named RITZ
Who depape caught him ****ing a OSTRICHZ
Depape said with some gnash
Now give me the cash
And they both took turns at the BIRDZ

[Braveheart]

There once was a guy called DePape.
Let me tell you this guy was no sap.
He knows lots about basis,
And deals with head cases,
He's not gonna take any crap.

[kato]

She was his Valentine as he did know
And worked with him through high and through low
But he had a battle
When he said "Let's sort cattle"
On Valentines Day in the snow

[bduke]

This woman of Swedish extraction
Whose opining garners much traction
Is cunningly clever
Baiting us to endeavour
To write lovingly without retraction

A Valentine limerick she begs
To test we societal dregs
With fingers a beating
Our brains overheating
Our drivel will never have legs

But its Valentine she doth declare
Catching many of us unaware
So write something sweet
And don't be discreet
Of course it must last for a year

Hence to all of our lovers I say
Thanks for your comforting way
I write these few lines
With sincerest opines
That each day be Valentine's Day

So Dear Parsley may Cupid deliver
Chocolates and wine like river
And your day of these treats
Ending between the sheets
And may your Dear John make you quiver!

[Braveheart]

I know I'll be up for rebuke,
But I can't hope to compete with Bill Duke.
For it seems that he's chose
Some colourful prose,
If he wins it won't be a fluke.

[malleefarmer]

Parsely the queen of mirth and rhyme,
Drinks vodka and lime,
Shes friends with us all even peter,
whos appearance couldn't be neater,
We may all meet her sometime