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Its Friday Lets have a Laugh!

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    Its Friday Lets have a Laugh!

    Every one talks how this site is so negative. Well lets try to lighten it up a little. The rain is getting lots of farmers down. Experts say large crop both in USA and Canada. Then field tours and farm scouts tell a tale of a good crop but not the bin buster yapped about all summer.

    Basis is so sick its not even funny all because a make belief big crop is coming and a China dockage problem that will cost every Canadian farmer money.

    Crushing plants don't have to compete when there is no off shore sales. But Canola ****seed inventory on world stage is what 18% below last years total. Canola and ****seed should be going through the roof.



    So lets get some clean or not so clean jokes.

    Happy Friday. Caught up on Canola and sprayings maybe a game of Golf.


    What's the best part of farming? Getting down and dirty with my hoes.


    A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned
    farm
    with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields
    were grown
    over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the
    fences were
    broken down. During his first day of work, the town
    preacher stops by to
    bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God
    work together to make
    this the farm of your dreams!" A few months
    later, the preacher stops
    by again to call on the farmer. Lo and
    behold, it's a completely
    different place. The farm house is
    completely rebuilt and in excellent
    condition, there is plenty of cattle and
    other livestock happily munching on
    feed in well-fenced pens, and
    the fields are filled with crops planted
    in neat rows. "Amazing!"
    the preacher says. "Look what God and you
    have accomplished
    together!" "Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but
    remember what the farm was
    like when God was working it alone!"


    For Mallee

    A Texan farmer goes
    to Australia for a
    vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets
    talking. The Aussie
    shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says,
    "Oh! We have
    wheat fields that are at least twice as large".

    Then they walk
    around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his
    herd of cattle.
    The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that
    are at least
    twice as large as your cows".

    The conversation has, meanwhile,
    almost died when the Texan sees a herd
    of kangaroos hopping through
    the field. He asks, "And what are
    those"?

    The Aussie asks
    with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any
    grasshoppers in
    Texas"?

    #2
    Im going go dust off the fishin rod
    Rained half the night
    Maybe come back in better mood lol

    Comment


      #3
      I agree If I sit at the farm you curse the rain and weather. At least on the golf course you curse the ball, the ruff the weather etc.

      Ah just like farming.

      Comment


        #4
        Here's my joke for the day.......

        Farming.

        Comment


          #5
          A farmer goes door to door selling fresh peaches from his orchard. He knocks on door and a bueatiful woman in a skimpy outfit answers. Hi I have peaches for sale. The woman lowers her top and asks are they as firm as these. The farmer gets a little tear in his eye and says yes. The woman lifts up her outfit and asks are they as fuzzy as this. The farmer breaks out crying yesss.
          The woman asks why are you crying? Well he says my durum wheat is full of fuz
          My lentils are drowned out and now I am going to get fuked out of my peaches

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by farmaholic View Post
            Here's my joke for the day.......

            Farming.
            And sasktel cell service!

            Comment


              #7
              joke of the day,,,,,,, "Minneapolis Wheat slipping under $5.00"

              prices from 10 years ago!

              Hope you can buy your combines, headers and swathers , the same price as 10 years ago!

              effing sick. sorrySF3

              Comment


                #8
                I second, "sasktel cell service!"

                Comment


                  #9
                  I liked the jokes SF3, thought instead of a grasshopper, he'd say, "don't you have mice".

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I think I found where freewheat farms.......

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Why didn't you stop in and say hi? Seeing as the sign is at the end of my driveway. Thanks for cutting off the top sign. That woulda been embarrassing.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by boarderbloke View Post
                        joke of the day,,,,,,, "Minneapolis Wheat slipping under $5.00"

                        prices from 10 years ago!

                        Hope you can buy your combines, headers and swathers , the same price as 10 years ago!

                        effing sick. sorrySF3
                        10 years ago!!!, I started farming in 1977, and got more than that.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Dont feel bad about the rain. Some areas norteast of carrot river got 3-6" a couple days ago . Hudson bay also and flooding
                          A guy is roaring down the highway in his new porche . He sees a cop behind him and figures he will never catch him. He goes faster and faster but cop is right on his ass. He finally pulls over and cop comes running up to his car and says what the hell are you trying to do ? He starts to make excuses and the cop says look ,im tired this is my last stop and i dont feel like doing anymore paperwork Give me one i havent heard before and ill let you go !he says well, about a week ago my wife ran off with a cop and i thought it was you bringing her back ! The cop said be on your way and have a good day

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Free , now you have to tell us whats on top sign !

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by agchat View Post
                              10 years ago!!!, I started farming in 1977, and got more than that.
                              1974 near start of MY career/joke, wheat was just under $5, buying power equal to $18 today.

                              Comment

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