So....

[blackpowder]

So, my boy said he was teased by his moms ex/new/todays best friend about a puppy he was set up not have 'cause he couldnt do all the chores. I told my son " next time your teased by an adult, you tell them they can tease your dad".

And you wonder why I drink

because common sense isnt *** legal

[farmaholic]

Take the high-road BP. Support the kid and you'll both be better off for it...

Take care.

[blackpowder]

O fk I know. Kids can tell.

[blackpowder]

O fk I know. Kids can tell.

the sifference.

[sumdumguy]

Hope the kid can blow it off. Just be there for him. He needs that support, have been through crap like that. If the kids know somebody cares that's the main thing.

[farmaholic]

...also, don't run down the kid's other parent in front of them. The situation they are enduring isn't their fault and no sense making it tougher than it may already be for them.

Like you said...they will see the difference. Make your place the place they want to be without buying them or not making them accountable for themselves. Be the person they want to spend time with.

Touchy subject. But broken homes can be quite common these days. Statistics are grim.

[farmaholic]

...broken home or not and don't get discouraged when it happens....sooner or later parents seem to take a backseat to their kid's friends....just hope they picked some decent friends!

[farmgal71]

Hi Blackpowder,

How old is your son?
It is important that you have your son's back and he knows you are always there for him, unconditionally.
That will make your bond and relationship stronger through the tough times.
Your instinct to defend him is natural.
Best wishes,
W

[SASKFARMER3]

I agree with all the comments. Never divorced but been involved years and years ago and wow is all i can say the games the manipulation and the kids are the ones who are used as pawns. Keep head up and let him know your their for him.

Again take care man thats worse than having a crop out all winter.

[Braveheart]

I agree with Farmgal. I would go so far as to visit the ex's boyfriend, without the son there, to remind him kindly or not, what behaviour is expected. I have done this years ago, not an ex but a trouble making neighbour. It made a difference.

Having the son's back unconditionally is soo important. Can't stand bullies.

[Rareearth]

Every situation is unique.

Don't let the kid play you though, one side against there other, half truths etc, that would make things difficult and nasty.

Open mind, supportive and fair, it's the best you can do.

[cottonpicken]

i'd stick a shotgun in his face and say don't ever **** with my kid again

[malleefarmer]

Been there done this. My first wife left i had a 5 8 and 10 year old at the time.
A few mediation sessions etc didnt work out.
Had kids every second weekend.
Reasonably amiable split divorce and payout settled.

Then a new women came into my life well things changed gloves off i basically took it all on the chin but heaps of troubles with her partners etc and the kids almost hated me.

Funny 15 years later kids love me to death think the "truth" kind off all came out without me saying a word as they became adult sort of 180 degrees.

Mother blew payment and sold house i bougt her took about 7 years basically penniless.
Has two more kids with another guy now there going through messy divorce.

As farma said never argue in front of kids and just keep your cool at all times worked for me

[blackpowder]

Long story involving psych stuff.
Sorry for posting personal crap when angry.
Good replys.
Having said that, I would be willing to help others through the minefield.
Guaranteed you will step on some. Very tricky system we have.
Will shoot email address if anyone wants.

[sumdumguy]

BP, we have been through some of what you post . They should call the show, "Kids in a War Zone." one thing I tell the kids that are in the middle, "You will be smarter for it, you will be an excellent judge of character because you have watched people at their finest and their worst." whenever I hear the song whit the lyrics, "whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger", I'm pretty sure that's where it came from. But they do grow up and that support they get from you, uncles and aunts and grandparents is so important.