Very Touchy Subject....Divorce

[SASKFARMER3]

Most farms will crash after a divorce if no preplaning was done!

Can't take the cash loss and extra debt! Very few make it!

But the winners are always the lawyers they love when you fight

[sumdumguy]

When we got married, we had a contract. " The one that leaves the relationship leaves with what he/she came - simple." We wanted our work to count for something and not get blown apart. Its not too relevant anymore, just kinda funny.

[blackpowder]

Some very good comments.
No offense but unless you've been spanked by the lawyers you're naive.
My grandfathers will made life hell for 40 years as well.
My children will not be given millions from a legacy they didnt know or were taught to hate. Theres a young go getter neighbor kid for that.
Get the word legacy out of your head.
Keeping your natural hate for lawyers is healthy and need not interfere with using them.
One neighbor here kept title in 3 names. Mom, Dad, Son. That way new spouse gets 1/2 of 1/3.
Yes, fairness changes with time and contributions.
Wills are to be made when people are healthy. So too prenups when everyone getting along.
Plan your machinery purchases carefully as child support can call %100 of your CCA as income for pmnt calcs. And believe me, the farming spouse in a divorce will have a magnifyng glass up his ass until the youngest child of that marriage is thru college. Can anyone spell forensic audit??
Lawyers ***g looove farmers.
We're all ***g millionares!
And naive.
Understand this. The system doesnt care who you are or what you do for living. Lawyers have told me to get a construction job because Im a big guy. Or to sell out, move to their new town and pump gas. For the kids.
Dont do a joint anything, unless you can smoke it.
Gifts must stay out of matrimonial property. Keep all your paperwork!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I've heard of fair, amicable divorces. Also divorces where wife didnt get what she deserved.
A good settlement is likely one where no ones satisfied.
Child agreements are another horror novel altogether. And unending if your selfish or rich.
Remember, the human factor more fickle than the weather.
I still support the concept of two becoming one. But the legalities... The system discourages it and the experts cant figure out why.
Remember, you may have to eventually trust a lawyer. (Like you would a tame scorpion) But never like one.

Remember one thing if it happens. Everything the adults do and say is absorbed by the children. I pray for their sake all parties remain sane, civil and calm.
Eventually the wisdom of Solomon and the Serenity prayer kick in.
But only if your *** sane!!

If I can be of any help email me.
More later.

[malleefarmer]

been there done that my ex wife left me not other way around.
at the time was blindsided 1998.
had trust and other "protection" in place didn't help much except increase lawyers fees explaining trust etc to judge ended settling out of court.

yep sask3 you never really get over it financially if your not ready I WASNT

remember it well father passed away dec 14 my wife announced she was moving on with 3 kids dec 26 was a stressful period

[sumdumguy]

My sincere regrets to those that go through the divorce process including the children who are in the middle of the mess. Inept lawyers and biased legal systems aren't meant to make the process smooth nor easy on the children. Fathers are often left with the bills and not much else. Having said that, there are some amicable divorces where greed, fighting and hate are not part of the equation.

[Flatlander]

Nothing to add but thanks. 38 years together, 32 married, and I still probably don't know how lucky I am.

[Ache4Acres]

Yep lets just keep the girls happy and avoid lawyers at all costs.

A very close friend of mine has spent the last year working with one of the top big accounting firms in Saskatoon. He was walking me through his new plan...I almost choked..he went from one corporate account to a woven web of two corps, a holding co, two family trusts and two personal accounts. The way I see it that Should be good for at least $30k per year in addditional accounting and legal fees, probably multiple audits and lots of staggered tax deadlines.

[blackpowder]

Ha, only the interest and legal costs of a divorce is deductable.
Every payment after is after tax for you and tax free for her.
Oh, to have a tax problem. Ha!

[farmaholic]

As much as I hate to ask.... anyone know a wealthy woman that got ****ed over by a gold digging man in a divorce?

That's why I started this thread gender neutral. I didn't want to come down on either side...the laws "should" be the same no matter what.

[blackpowder]

Justice is blind.
People are not. Pendulums swing.
I believe I have felt certain biases.
Farma. You seem worried about your kids. Fair nuff. Its the biggest life decision they make. Nothing you can do except cover your ass-ets and pray.

[blackpowder]

One of 3 Ds kill every farm.
Death, Debt, Divorce.


I do not go to any seminar shit any more. In the last 25 years I"ve heard it all from every salesman who qualifed for a govt grant. Farmtech type agendas half succession shit.
I have challenged some of those ****s to have sessions on divorce or mental health issues and guess what? Only succession planning sells.
Country *** Guide makes me puke.
If you got the sand to keep your farm together for a lifetime, you dont need to pay some **** 50k to help you now.
I have only met 2 people worth their pay and only one of them worked for poor people.
Ah the problems of the wealthy.
Farmers are funny. Let em talk for 30 secs and I can tell how much term debt they have.

My mother has a foresight gift.
She never moved off the home place cause she had a premonition. It was right. So the main base was spared. Good thing too as I have a place to live now, in her basement.
My 25 years of equity build and growth capital was lost completely for 12 years of legal marriage.

May God help any who have to spend their good years wading thru the shit the nasty people of this earth can dish out. Believe me, divorce forces your nose in it for a long time.

My advice. Only marry sane people with no disorders.
If you marry a city girl, sell the cows.

Yah fk, theres a lot of good experiences out there. Count your blessings. Or go work for Disney.
You asked about the possibles.
I have stories.
More to come?

[malleefarmer]

As much as I hate to ask.... anyone know a wealthy woman that got ****ed over by a gold digging man in a divorce?

That's why I started this thread gender neutral. I didn't want to come down on either side...the laws "should" be the same no matter what.

My brother in the big smoke had a high flying wife earning 250 to 300k a year working for IBM in the mining industry worked in west Australia flew home to Adelaide on weekends. He was studying to be a architect.

2 kids she found another man in the west he relocated to Adelaide.

50% shared custody no maintainence or anything paid to my brother whilst he was studying now if the shoe was on the other foot as farmaholic allued to hmmm.

[sawfly1]

fun fun fun, been down that road, i am not a lawyer
and will read other posts here in depth when i have time.

lots of ways to get screwed.
some lessons learned the hard way.
1. if you enter a marriage with cash.
and fall on hard times. like the 80s do not use that cash to survive.
maintain it. keep it under your name.
instead borrow the money you need.
if you spend your pre marr. cash it no longer counts as being brought in.to he marr.
makes no sense but that is how it works.

2 just a general thing, another screw job, if your parents die young , you inherit while married,
becomes matt. property. the spouse inherits after the divorce, your inheritance gets split ,theirs does not.

3 my sister ran into a situation , where her spouse's father had his will, set up that , the commercial property ( estate) her spouse inherited , was somehow never to be deemed matt. property.
( how is that possible )

while her farm property inheritance with no stipulation was matt. property. crazy.

and the lawyers were mixed on whether it would stand up in court.
you're then faced with an expensive legal battle .

unbelievable. if it were to stand up , what would be the point of the matt. property laws

the law is an ass

[Richard5]

Yep lets just keep the girls happy and avoid lawyers at all costs.

A very close friend of mine has spent the last year working with one of the top big accounting firms in Saskatoon. He was walking me through his new plan...I almost choked..he went from one corporate account to a woven web of two corps, a holding co, two family trusts and two personal accounts. The way I see it that Should be good for at least $30k per year in addditional accounting and legal fees, probably multiple audits and lots of staggered tax deadlines.

Ache - That must be some farm to work through a set up like that. I know from my experience, it never was a pushy meeting. At no time did anyone seem like they were "selling me" something and if I didn't decide anything that day it was just fine. In fact, an option was suggested a few years earlier that I should keep in mind and it was me that said we need to look into it further. Options are shown with very clear positives and negatives and what I liked about it all was there was always talk way down the road and what was my exit from it or what hurdles my son may/may not have with its setup.

For you friend, I would think it was handled the same and he chose which route that made sense for his operation.

On the flip side, we can make this very simple by just paying more tax each year and less focus on deferring income

[poorboy]

Hold mortgage

Could you retain a mortgage on the property? One of them low rate deals with the option to charge 20 percent interest. Most mortgages have that obscure clause.

You forgive the mortgage in your will.