Very Touchy Subject....Divorce

[blackpowder]

And true, your children will always have same mother. So if any crazy involved only over for you when your dead. Pray for the kids.
Especially those taught to hate.

[blackpowder]

Sorry none of your original questions answered. After rereading them they seem somewhat unanswerable as they sound as from the audience rather than the arena.
Good luck farma.

[farmaholic]

Quote:

" I am on the record here as saying I will likely never fully enjoy the full value of the farm because it won't get sold to my kids at full market value. lots will likely be gifted. Yet if my kids get divorced, I haven't been paid fair value but their spouses are entitled to half of full market value? How is that fair? Some people could become millionaires just by "association", osmosis."

This is the statement I want the people to think about....the message I want to drive home! It is terrifying to think of the consequences of doing nothing.

[westernvicki]

Exactly, farmaholic!

Worked in the industry long enough to hear circumstances that are more than difficult on the farmer and a farm unit after divorce. And while, personal support will always be necessary in a divorce, the valuation of assets and inherited assets as divisional property, is indeed a challenge. Even more so at today valuations, and income.

[farmaholic]

And then Elaine Froese writes about the problem of the old generation that is unwilling to let go of control....is it any wonder under the circumstances I pointed out. Even if the damn farm was bought by the farming children at full value, who wants to see their children have to buy half the land again at full value? The whole thing is a can of worms....laws and lawyers will likely have a heyday challenging anything set up to protect the families interest.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to the discussion.

[blackpowder]

OK. You sold it. Its no longer yours. It goes up in value or is lost by the buyer.
Get the word fair out of your vocabulary. I know what you mean but it only hurts you to think that way.
Would it be more fair if your son was killed and it all went to daughterin law?
How many years of marriage make it fair to you the seller?
Did the wife give up an education or career?
Is it fair to have a 50 yr old daughter in law with $.30 on the dollar after 30 yrs?
Is it more fair to have an in law that works their ass off or sits on it all day. Same to the law.
You have a valid question. It seems youve answered it for yourself. How it looks on paper dunno.

Elaine Froese seems to mean well but her articles and audience are safe topics for her. Geared to the majority of the paying audience. Disney hour. Youre trying to cya for the dark, ugly evil that no one talks about, and very few know about. Like finding an expert on zombies.

[bucket]

The next generation has to buy the farm after they did the work to keep mom and dad living well.....there in lies part of the problem.....50 year olds worn out keeping the 75 year old financially healthy but still not willing to let go....so two generations try to retire at the same time.


Not in all cases but too many.

[sumdumguy]

Back to the Future - Anyone have a time machine to take back to1985? I would like to be the first time machine traveller.

[farmaholic]

With everything that needs to be taken into account, there are too many possibilities to say one size fits all or the outcome "should" or even "could" possibly be the same for everyone....

Just good eye opening discussion here...

[blackpowder]

Was not speaking to or about anyone on here specifically.
Like any life event, despite the similarities its different for everyone. And outsiders assume.
The vast amount of subject material relevant in the discussion here is impossible to learn the easy way.
And whether death, divorce, or retirement, not necessarily a problem for most.

[blackpowder]

But if I may. If your looking for the usual "experts" for advice, good luck. I am disgusted with going to a seminar where they talk about any of these above subjects. Sick and tired of the fluff that is spewed. Either selling something or covering their ass. No one is able to talk in public about the worst possibilities.
I would relish and participate in a panel presentation to a group. But only if its goal was to frankly expose all the ugly that 'could' happen. Useless without a little shock value.
I listen to people talk and they all sound the same depending on where they are in the journey. Like having an illness. But if kids involved??
I am disgusted with farm orgs, groups, media, all of them..
Mention this idea and they scurry like mice. Mental health issues are a part of this puzzle too but.... mayswell jerk off in church. Same expression on their faces.
So, I dont go to or belong to any *** thing anymore.
Except aville I guess.
The bullshit stops here.

[may-be]

I cannot say what the answerer is today but only tell you my storey. After proving myself to my father I was serious in this game of farming I asked him to sign me over one of his two quarters before I proposed to my wife. He did it and it was a blessing. We separated 11 years ago which happens to be before house prices and land prices started to move in a high direction. I had two very bad years in the business before that so my payout was not terrible. She was not entitled to the gifted quarter. After that I had two very good years, expanded, did some custom work and with appreciation my net worth was the same two years later. Unfortunately a year after that she had passed away. It was when she passed away and I got my child back I realised how good she had it with the child tax benefit, the money she got from me every month and the income tax deduction.

After this and a couple disappointing girlfriends I decided to just enjoy myself and not get serious unless she has a lot of money or I retire.

I dun no if my lawyer was good or not but he told me a prenup is only good for about four years.

This was a very good subject to bring up as it gets me thinking if I should gift some land to my son now. If he wanted to buy the rest I would only sell at my reduced rate with an agreement he owed me the rest incase he ran into trouble.