Please send us some global warming

[bigzee]

I would gladly take another storm. It’s been a text book melt. Yes it’s been a long winter but it always is. We don’t have moisture like most so any system that develops we will gladly take.
A two day inch rain in April would hit the spot.

[AlbertaFarmer5]

maybe where you are but we had a very cold spring up until june , july was normal . aug , sept very warm , oct cold , nov saw 3 weeks of night time lows over -20, dec normal , jan, feb 7 weeks of -30 every night , march unseasonably cold . average that out and see what you get .

So, I averaged that data out, carried the 3, divided by the cubed root of the number of days left in the reign of Trudeau( but who's counting), took the second derivative of that, applied pythagoreans theorem, then ran it through my computer model, fit it to a 3rd order hyperbolic curve, threw out a bunch of data points that didn't fit( all but one actually), erased the error bars, to arrive at the conclusive conclusion that your data is uncontestable evidence of catastrophic future global warming, not just that, but also that I can be 129.6% certain that 118% of the warming is anthropogenic in nature, 11 time out of 10.

Full disclosure, I did have to take my socks off at one point to count that high, and as a bonus, I also came up with 22,000 telephone poles an hour, solving an age old mystery.

To check my work, I tried the same thing with data from the scores of my kids hockey games and got exactly the same result, proof positive that CAGW is real. I then tested the model using JT's approval costume colors, and still got the same graph, so I had Grassfarmer and ChuckChuck peer review my results, and the results are unanimous, everything is proof of global warming.
I also did a poll, and 1.5 out of the 2.5 dentists I asked agree that carrying the 3 was the correct way to start, and all 2.5 of them agreed that I need to floss more often. Therefore, I can confidently proclaim consensus about the results of my study, not at the 97% level, not 98, or 99, but 104% consensus.

No bribes were offered or accepted during the making of this study, only gifts of encouragement, and a large promotion plus tenure at the U of Agriville department of Climate Change is Responsible For Everything Department.

If only there were a Nobel Prize for mathematics, I think I deserve it, I'll even share with my fellow co-conspirators, I mean co-researchers.

[furrowtickler]

Lol
You must do scientific research for the U.N.

[farmaholic]

Leave it to an engineer to complicate the **** out of something so simple.

I hope you never strained your brain with that mental workout.

Actually I'm horribly impressed by your creativity.

[AlbertaFarmer5]

Leave it to an engineer to complicate the **** out of something so simple.

I hope you never strained your brain with that mental workout.

Actually I'm horribly impressed by your creativity.

It has to be unnecessarily complicated, Otherwise some jerk who not only Understands the scientific process, but also respects it will come along and try to prove me wrong.

[farmaholic]

It has to be unnecessarily complicated, Otherwise some jerk who not only Understands the scientific process, but also respects it will come along and try to prove me wrong.

Geez, and I expected a response saying you dumbed it down for me to understand.

You're too kind and diplomatic.

[Guest]

It has to be unnecessarily complicated, Otherwise some jerk who not only Understands the scientific process, but also respects it will come along and try to prove me wrong.

like your science , sure has been cold though ?i know, I know , it's just weather

[AlbertaFarmer5]

Geez, and I expected a response saying you dumbed it down for me to understand.

You're too kind and diplomatic.

Actually that was the dumbed down version, as I said, I don't want one of you deniers trying to replicate my work, or doubting my scientific integrity, so I left out some key steps in my description. For example, you probably noticed that I never once mentioned Plancks constant, or the square root of the speed of light in a completely dark room squared. The astute observer would also question how I could do all that without even once invoking an imaginary number, or a strange attractor, but in reality, I used both, not once, but twice, but I'll never tell what I used them for.

Even when I pretended to let Chuck and Grass peer review my work, I still didn't let them see the data or the methods, I just told them that I had proven that not only is global warming much worse than we thought, (which got them as excited as a kid on Christmas getting a new pony), but also said that I can prove that it is all caused by the hot air spewed by all of the deniers on Agriville, by this time they couldn't control their elation, but I had one more bombshell to drop to ensure they would sign anything about peer reviewing something they had never read, I told them that it could all be solved by taxing SF3 everytime he goes on a holiday. They did the math, and at $1,000,000 per week long holiday, and 67 week long holidays per year(69 on a leap year), they figured that would be enough to completely silence all of the evil deniers on Agriville, so they can have complete freedom of speech, and liberty will prevail.

[burnt]

Actually that was the dumbed down version, as I said, I don't want one of you deniers trying to replicate my work, or doubting my scientific integrity, so I left out some key steps in my description. For example, you probably noticed that I never once mentioned Plancks constant, or the square root of the speed of light in a completely dark room squared. The astute observer would also question how I could do all that without even once invoking an imaginary number, or a strange attractor, but in reality, I used both, not once, but twice, but I'll never tell what I used them for.

Even when I pretended to let Chuck and Grass peer review my work, I still didn't let them see the data or the methods, I just told them that I had proven that not only is global warming much worse than we thought, (which got them as excited as a kid on Christmas getting a new pony), but also said that I can prove that it is all caused by the hot air spewed by all of the deniers on Agriville, by this time they couldn't control their elation, but I had one more bombshell to drop to ensure they would sign anything about peer reviewing something they had never read, I told them that it could all be solved by taxing SF3 everytime he goes on a holiday. They did the math, and at $1,000,000 per week long holiday, and 67 week long holidays per year(69 on a leap year), they figured that would be enough to completely silence all of the evil deniers on Agriville, so they can have complete freedom of speech, and liberty will prevail.

AF5, I don't want to belittle your otherwise excellent work, but it really is quite two-dimensional.

You left out what is perhaps the most aggravating factor of peoplemade global warming - $$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

It makes the temperature rise much steeper and more impactful than fluctuating weather factors could ever do over thousands of years.

[AlbertaFarmer5]

AF5, I don't want to belittle your otherwise excellent work, but it really is quite two-dimensional.

You left out what is perhaps the most aggravating factor of peoplemade global warming - $$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

It makes the temperature rise much steeper and more impactful than fluctuating weather factors could ever do over thousands of years.

Be quiet, with such hearsay, you will get the deniers all riled up, and they will try to poke holes in my results. I had to include the effect of money received to further my climate change career in the calculations, but had to do so implicitly, so as not to give ammunition to someone like the denier Burnt, since he would be sure to find it.

The actual correlating factor is 0.25 additional degrees of warming occurring during a period long after I will be dead and can not be held to account for my prediction, for every $1.47 million funnelled into my "climate change fund", also known as my retire to a much warmer climate than this as soon as possible fund. To reiterate, my models will increase warming by 1/4 of a degree C for every $1,470,000 you pay me. But you won't find that factor in the model, it has more to do with which data points I choose to ignore.