Smelling the Roses at a Funeral

[farmaholic]

Attended a Funeral today for an ex-neighbor. 44 years old with 4 kids from late teens to early teens, too young to pass and leave 4 children behind that could use their mother through the early hard stages of life, thankfully they have their good father to guide them through. They are also a positive, hopeful, faith filled family that will get them through.

I charge along through life with little regard for my own mortality or health vulnerability. But when something debilitating comes along, even temporarily, it gives you pause and a reality check to reflect. Things can change or sometimes have to change, are you in a state of mind to accept that possibility . Sometimes life and health get in the way of things I want to do, or I'd rather be doing.

Even in the normal aging process, we can possess minds of a 35 year old in a 55 year old body, the two states aren't always co-operating.....

Enjoy the good and beauty around you, sometimes there doesn't appear to be much or its hard to see....but there's always some if you take the time to look. The more you do it....after a while it gets easier to see.

Take care

[Sheepwheat]

As a guy who lost his dad at 13, and as a 43 year old, I hear you.

It is something that you never get over, and it alters your life in ways that take decades to even recognize.

Some ppl think if 5 or ten years pass, you should be over it. Well, you never are. I feel for those kids, it is brutal.

This June, it will be 30 years since my dad left us behind. I still ache, always will. Sure the intense pain does pass, but the whole aura is with you forever, because it is so immensely life changing...

I am certainly not the person I could have or would have been. Just the way it is. You don’t get it till you have lived it...

[SASKFARMER]

It’s been a rough couple week first a friend who spent time with us down south comes home and diagnosed with prostate cancer. He caught it early so hopefully it will turn out. Then last Friday my cousins wife phones on my way home and says my oldest cousin had a major heart attack. Clot also they haven’t got yet. Major surgery. Then one of my best friends from university, met the guy first day and we just clicked. Well his wife said he was in Regina at the hospital and I should come visit. We had a great chat from back in classes to weddings the ag bag to our kids and retirement. Dr came in and couldn’t get the test till next day. Well this morning I got the news we all didn’t want to hear.

Makes you look at your life.

Hug your wife and kids and friends and try to be pleasant. You never know when the plug is pulled.

Three weeks ago happy healthy and on a beach having fun with family.

How fast it can change.

[Misterjade9]

In a month it will be one year since my dad died, he was 84 and I am going to be 50 and when it happened I felt just like a kid again. I just miss his phone calls at night to see how my day went or in the morning to see what he could do today. I saw something one the internet that explained grief really well. Imagine a box with a pain button mounted on the inside, then picture grief being a ball. Some days the ball is big and it hits the button all the time, as time passes the ball gets smaller but every time it bounces around and hits the button the pain is as fresh and raw as it ever was. Yes we plow through life and don't always stop and smell the roses, but I am trying.

[malleefarmer]

Sadly my step/father in laws funeral this week.Tony. Hes been with my wifes mother for almost 45 yrs just didnt bother getting married 2nd time around for both of them.

Owns 8 or 9 even 10 hotels in family bussiness.

His dad bought first pub in a steel working town in late 1940s
Young tony at the age of 9 used nick to a bottle of whiskey from his dad, take it to local picture theatre and charge a sixpence a swig. He ammased a small fortune by the time he left home lol. And leearnt how to run a hotel in the process.

One of the great stories at his eulogy. 83 yrs old.

[rodd]

[QUOTE=SASKFARMER;407984]It’s been a rough couple week first a friend who spent time with us down south comes home and diagnosed with prostate cancer. He caught it early so hopefully it will turn out. Then last Friday my cousins wife phones on my way home and says my oldest cousin had a major heart attack. Clot also they haven’t got yet. Major surgery. Then one of my best friends from university, met the guy first day and we just clicked. Well his wife said he was in Regina at the hospital and I should come visit. We had a great chat from back in classes to weddings the ag bag to our kids and retirement. Dr came in and couldn’t get the test till next day. Well this morning I got the news we all didn’t want to hear.


Yes SF3 that was bad news. We had been up to see him a couple times last week and will go visit him today before he heads back home. Going to be a tough one.

[farmaholic]

The glass rose was made by Berting Glass(Cupar Sask?) and the display case I ordered from the States and my Aunt made the pillow for the "rose" to rest on.


Something I had put together and was left at a cemetery just a mile south of our yard, A mother buried her 50 year old daughter under real unfortunate circumstances. She was a childhood friend and class mate of mine who lost her father at about 16 years old. She was never the same after that, quit school and moved away from home but then pulled it together to graduate with a nursing degree but her life once again spiraled out of control, a very interesting story. If I would show you pictures of her at her nursing graduation and the picture of her after she was arrested for abducting her own kids(after she lost custody of them) and causing an amber alert....you wouldn't think they were the same person. I would have never recognized her.

I used to describe her as having the "Midas Touch"..... talented, smart and good looking....anything she touched turned to gold, but somewhere something went wrong.

I think of my life as a simple life but maybe sometimes that is best!

[farmaholic]

More sobering news today....a bachelor friend dies of brain cancer he's had for a while. This morning I was told he was in the hospital at 8:50 and had passed away by 11:00....I was getting ready to go see him, have an early dinner, get cleaned up and be on my way when I got the text from his sister. Sad I never got to say good bye in person. His dogs meant alot to him and the oldest, which isn't doing well, might be put to sleep, cremated and put to rest with him. His wishes were granted to him being able to stay on his farm as long as he could. Many people in the community made it possible, everyone who helped made what would have been a big task for one person a manageable task for many....

RIP buddy... the selfish side of me didn't want to see him go.

[FarmerSmuck]

Life is very unfair, and just when you think it can’t get worse it does.
6 years ago I lost my Mother and a Child within 2 months of each other. I was 32 years old.
4 years ago I lost my father. I was 36 years old and no parents left.
3 years ago lost my mother in law.
2 years ago I lost my last grandparent.(One of the most important people in my life)
Weird thing is my kids only have one grandparent left at the ages of 6-8.
And my wife is now 40 and she has all her grandparents left.
A lot of times I think I have made it through all this and I’am turning the corner. And then “Bang” all the life is sucked out of you and its a struggle to get through a day.
A guy often wonders “Why Me”
I made the decision the scale back my operation and enjoy family time. Minimal stress and already feeling much better with all the uncertainty in farming going forward. And farming in North Central Sask isn’t easy a lot of the time.

[AlbertaFarmer5]

Thanks to all on this thread for putting it all into perspective. Makes the day to day catastrophes around the farm seem petty in comparison.

My heart goes out to you Farmersmuck, no words can express my sympathies to you.

No one ever said life was fair unfortunately. I look at my peers, and most of their parents are still actively working or involved, and many still have grandparents, yet I started the slow process of losing my own father while I was still in high school. Hard to believe they were even the same generation.

A close neighbor lost his father at a very young age to suicide, lost his first wife in her late 30's, recently lost his only adult son, 2nd wife now has lung cancer with an unsure diagnosis, and just lost both his sisters to lung cancer, and is fighting cancer himself.

[LEP]

Life is very unfair, and just when you think it can’t get worse it does.
6 years ago I lost my Mother and a Child within 2 months of each other. I was 32 years old.
4 years ago I lost my father. I was 36 years old and no parents left.
3 years ago lost my mother in law.
2 years ago I lost my last grandparent.(One of the most important people in my life)
Weird thing is my kids only have one grandparent left at the ages of 6-8.
And my wife is now 40 and she has all her grandparents left.
A lot of times I think I have made it through all this and I’am turning the corner. And then “Bang” all the life is sucked out of you and its a struggle to get through a day.
A guy often wonders “Why Me”
I made the decision the scale back my operation and enjoy family time. Minimal stress and already feeling much better with all the uncertainty in farming going forward. And farming in North Central Sask isn’t easy a lot of the time.

Wow. Everyone has their own burdens to bear, but sometimes if you look around, you realize there are many enduring worse.

My sympathies Farmersmuck losing loved ones is difficult.

Hopefully in time you can recall memories you had together that can help ease the pain.

[SASKFARMER]

Got the call late this afternoon the buddy I went to visit last Monday didn't make a week. Three weeks ago happy enjoying life. Gone before he should be. RIP.