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You guys ever crack the shits not super Important

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    You guys ever crack the shits not super Important

    Went to big smoke a week ago.
    Was in market precinct which coincides with restaurant strip.5 star to malleefarmer style.
    Anyway run out of steak at home ain’t had any for nearly two weeks.
    Asian Asian Chinese dumplings times ten I want a effing steak.
    Eventually found this high brow joint , had pull on Justin’s, jeans , two button pull on shirt and cap preverbial fish out of water.

    Kinda peered in floor staff come in come in your fine. If not for covid19 flatline in bussiness sure I would have been told to go elsewhere.

    Sat down, would you like to study our wine list sir, beer please, we have vast array of steaks cooked to your liking special is aged 52 day rare rump.

    Ok rare please as listed and pepper sauce sorry sir you have to have our delectable in house sauce.

    Look around suited businessman and frocked up lady’s few yuppie types. All ponficating over the wine list, felt like lifting my leg and seeing if they’ve ever heard a decent out bush country fart. You know kinda fart that would kill a gopher.

    Steal arrived looked good thick char grill marks rare. Started cutting and cutting **** blunt steak knife perhaps. Chew chew on this so called delectable bullock.

    Floor staff come over are you enjoying your sir, well actually no mate, you must be cutting across the grain , no mate I’ve been eating steak while I was still shitting in nappies, he didn’t know wether to laugh or cry.
    We better get the chef , I said cooked beautifully mate no issue, again the grain story, mate I can see the grain stands out like a 18 yrs olds pecker when he first looks at playboy. Again didn’t know wether to laugh or cry.

    Owner comes out do you want refund I said no you staff work hard chefs etc this is crap steak, oh we will take it up with our supplier.

    Didn’t wanna cause a fuss but they did ask me I told em, plus 12 bucks for a salad with steak, steak was $48 thought shit if that’s special what’s normal.

    Highlight was actually all these people freaking out when steak out guessing same rare special arrrgh it’s bleeding can you cook it again. Read the menu bimbo says rare.

    Anyway gotta go back to big smoke tommorw actually tempted to Go there again, one see if 5hey remember me and two if it’s better.

    Should have had a Asian dumpling down the street.

    In all my travels across western Canada in 17 some of the best steak was in the dingiest places so many steak “chains” were crap was it mister something

    Anyway enough dribble from me

    Oh yeah what was my point anyone complain about crap steak. If it not as good as you cook at home what’s the point. Yeah end of rant
    Last edited by malleefarmer; Jul 28, 2020, 04:41.

    #2
    Best steak I’ve had ever is on a hot Broil King. 👍

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by malleefarmer View Post
      Went to big smoke a week ago.
      Was in market precinct which coincides with restaurant strip.5 star to malleefarmer style.
      ...

      Oh yeah what was my point anyone complain about crap steak. If it not as good as you cook at home what’s the point. Yeah end of rant

      I believe I just heard a snippet from Crocodile Dundee's trip to town. :-)

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by burnt View Post
        I believe I just heard a snippet from Crocodile Dundee's trip to town. :-)
        Except Crocodile Dundee couldn’t say the knife was dull ‘cause he’d use his own😉

        Comment


          #5
          Anyone remember the Kandahar Steak House. Steak so big it was falling off the edge of your plate. Sort of licensed but definitly no wine list. Best Chinese steak chef i ever met

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by AllisWD45 View Post
            Anyone remember the Kandahar Steak House. Steak so big it was falling off the edge of your plate. Sort of licensed but definitly no wine list. Best Chinese steak chef i ever met
            I remember going there as a kid with my folks...that place was awesome, most guys treated it as a byob.

            Comment


              #7
              Yea I'll second the "best steak is on a broil king"!

              I'm pretty much always disappointed when I eat at a "steak house." At least once a month we grill up a half dozen massive steaks and I'll pretty much eat till I've got the meat sweats.

              Personal favourite is day long marinated prime rib roast, cooked super low and slow and sliced into at least 1" chunks.

              If you want a waiter to look at you sideways when they ask you how you like your steak just say something like:
              -just ever so barely take the moo out of it.
              -just wipe its ass before it hits the plate
              -the same way my wife here likes her sex... rare.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by helmsdale View Post
                -the same way my wife here likes her sex... rare.
                🤔🤔

                Likes her sex or likes your sex? 😊



                Used to be a backcountry cook. Regularly people would compliment the grilled steaks and outdoor cooking over restaurants. It is hard to beat out doors and grilling. Also hard to wreck a NY strip steak unless someone wants it well done.

                That said, I bought a sous vide a couple years ago. You want to up your steak game, try that.

                Comment


                  #9
                  But where’s the barbecue fat flavour in sous vide? I’ve heard it’s a must try but I can’t picture it.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Missus got a sousvide machine here

                    Steaks are good but still have broil king flat out give 20 seconds each side when they come out of machine

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Sous vide we were at boneless prime rib was cooked in a plastic bag in water. It took all day, something went wrong, I guess and we gave up - so onto the hot grill, brushed with butter and sauce, salt/ pepper and ta da heavenly steak with cold barley juice. Best in the West. Actually American corn fed prime rib with au jus from Gordon Ramsey’s in Vegas was one dinner to remember.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by sumdumguy View Post
                        But where’s the barbecue fat flavour in sous vide? I’ve heard it’s a must try but I can’t picture it.
                        Grill it after.

                        Like Mallee says, few seconds each side, depending how char you like it, and presto.

                        Sous vide it with salt and pepper and butter in the bag and you’ve got the start of some great gravy as well! Or just be lazy and pour the juice on your bbq veggies like I do.

                        However outside of bbq season I’ve never been able to successfully sear my sous vide steak without smoking out the kitchen and setting off the smoke alarm. Whoops.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Sum dumb you mention barley juice meaning beer or you actually drink barley juice.

                          We have a drink here lemon barley juice beautiful of cold day

                          And yeah apologies I’m just as bad as everyone, politics medical climate now cooking on marketing forum.

                          I admit it.

                          Ps rain totals way different than climate change chatter quite acceptable.

                          And many many parts of aust will be looking for a drink sooner rather than later
                          Last edited by malleefarmer; Jul 29, 2020, 04:29.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Far as I'm concerned, you can talk about any damned thing you want cause your not an a hole.

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