Humour ?, see if we can coax Farma back ?

[Guest]

A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consults his portable GPS and replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Conservative"

"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."

The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Liberal"

"I am, replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault."

[woodland]

Good deal👍

We need more jokes or Mallee has to post some pics from down under to warm up. Thirty some below and the wind is drifting snow and even corn stalks here.

Brrrrrrr!⛄️

[jazz]

farma is probably in hiding after he heard that so called ghetto dirt is probably $5k an acre now.

Maybe he cashed himself and his apprentice out and is living large in a covid free zone somewhere.

[helmsdale]

Farma's ghetto paradise.

[blackpowder]

Not the first time hes' taken a sabbatical. He'll be back. Everyone needs a break from this place.

[blackpowder]

But in the spirit of the thread.

[blackpowder]

[helmsdale]

[woodland]

For us livestock guys....................

[LEP]

This is pre-pandemic:

Farma comes home from town with a proud grin on his face and tells his wife, "I applied for my pension today. The girl behind the counter didn't believe I was 65, so she asked me to open my shirt and show her the colour of my chest hairs."

His wife glances up from the crossword that she was working on and said "Why didn't you drop your pants at the same time and apply for disability?"

[GDR]

[Guest]

Not sure if I posted this before but it’s good !

Election Day in Saskatchewan
Farmer joe goes to start truck to go vote
Battery is dead so he decides to catch a ride with someone
Walks out to road and a car pulls up
Guy says “where you headed?” , joe says “goin to town to vote , he says “who for ?” Joe says “conservatives”
Guy takes off and leaves him on the road
Happens twice more , so joe figures he better change his tactics
Next car pulls up and there is a beautiful women driving it
When she asks who he’s gonna vote for , joe says proudly “NDP”
She says hop in and I will give you a ride
As there driving along joe is checking her out and she is hot !
Finally he says to her “you know , I have only been an NDP for 10 mins and already I feel like ****ing somebody” !

[fjlip]

Oh why not... it's chickens farma...