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An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees an old farmer sitting on his porch patting his dog.
He figures he’ll have a little fun, so he says to the old farmer
“G’ day, mind if I talk to your dog?â€
Old Farmer: “The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid Aussie.â€
Ventriloquist: “Hello dog, how’s it going mate?â€
Dog (via ventriloquist): “Doin’ all right.â€
Old Farmer: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: “Is this villager your owner?†(pointing at the villager)
Dog: “Yepâ€
Ventriloquist: “How does he treat you?â€
Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.â€
Old Farmer: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: “Mind if I talk to your horse?â€
Old Farmer: “Uh, the horse doesn’t talk either…I think.â€
Ventriloquist: “Hey horse, how’s it going?â€
Horse: “Coolâ€
Old Farmer: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: “Is this your owner?†(pointing at the villager)
Horse: “Yepâ€
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.â€
Old Farmer: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?â€
After a long pause-
Old Farmer: (in a panic) “The sheep’s a f*ckin’ liar
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Guest
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Some of the best ever ..
https://twitter.com/tsting18/status/1575553193232121857?s=42&t=4DpvNKeSnmr9SGAYrpoyjQ
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