do I really want to farm?

[loops]

This question has been bothering me all year. I am not broke nor do I intend to go broke, in fact this has nothing to do with money. I am mid 30's single. here is the problem, this started out as a family farm, my brother and parents. They are ready to retire, brother married and moved to city(part time farm-has real job). Our community has died, I have few friends, no other single friends and single's are not included the same as couples. I look at other older bachelors in area and don't want to end up like them. the community has nothing to offer in terms of a social life and there is less going on every year, this was first year that there was no sports day. I find myself in the company of people in their 50-60's. (nice but they too will soon be gone) Now say I dig myself out of this rut, go to city,meet right girl, get married, have childern would I want to come back to nothing anyhow? If I stay single it means farming all on my own, no company, no one to help move, lift or hold things.Yuck! Funny thing is I ended up being single cause I got lost while trying to build up the farm so I could provide a good life, she didn't wait. I dearly love the farm, being my own boss, and nature itself but is it worth the price?

[lunden]

Only you can really answer your question; however, I'll share with you a perspective that helped me make several decisions about change and moving - including selling our farm and moving to town. The comment comes from Bev Campbell of Lloydminister. Her and her husband were passing the management of their ranch on to their son. She said that the transition became much easier when she realized that the ranch was only a tool she and Don had used to achieve some of their goals in life (raising their family being one of those goals). Now that they had achieved that goal they didn't need the tool any more and what they were doing was passing the 'tool' on to their son to help him acheive his goals. So rather than ask yourself whether you should stay on the farm or not you should be asking yourself what your goals are and whether the farm is the right tool to help you achieve those goals.

[noelm]

I agree that a goal is critical in figuring out what action to take. As the old saying goes 'if you do not know where you are going, you will end up somewhere else'. Land, especially land that has been in the family for a generation or more, can become burdensome. Knowing what we want to do with our lives can be very helpful in determining whether owning and/or farming a particular piece of land will help take us where we want to go.

[loops]

I know your right, guess the problem here is until last year I thought I was achieving my goals. suddenly from nowhere had brain tumor which resulted in losing vision in one eye. Suddenly what had been important meant nothing. I now know what I think I want but to be honest am scared. I'm not able to do everything as well as i used to. It seems easier to stay with what I know rather than to venture into the unknown. Is a bird in the hand worth what may or may not be in the bush? am I just depressed over a major life change, do i really need to get out or is the real answer somewhere in the middle. Seems I can look at it from every angle and every time i get a different answer. (it's way more complex than i could ever explain-even i can't consider all the variables at once) honestly I want the bird in the hand and the best of what may be in the bush with no risk involved. Thinking here my self-confidence, self-esteem needs a boost. any ideas? ps-enjoyed your website!

[paladin]

Hello, I am not quite in exactly your situation, but we are similar in age (30's) and like yourself I have experienced major upheaval in my life as well recently. Don't discount that it may be depression, but I think what it may be is getting to that spot in your life where you are kind of in between goals and a little lacking in motivation. It seems that in our twenties we set out early on with a vision and the world is a pretty straight forward place to live, but by the time you get into your thirties, you've accomplished many of the things that were important to you earlier and the world is a lot more grey than black or white. I think that these feelings are a sign that we have to go through the process of sorting out who we are now and are we still on the path that we want to be on. It sounds like the teenaged years again, but way more complicated and without the acne! Unfortunately it seems to take a lot more time to figure it out than we think it should. Be kind to yourself and try to do things you enjoy while thinking about what your future holds. I'm not totally sure where I'm headed again yet, but occasionally I see a light at the end of the tunnel which is a good thing. Good luck to you on your journey.

[lunden]

Great response - good to hear from someone who has 'been there'. I just wanted to add some examples of how to explore new opportunities at a reduced level of risk. I know of one fellow, also in his 30's, who converted his mixed farm to straight grain so he could go and work at a ski resort in the winter. He also did volunteer work at a children's camp in the summer. Another couple in their early 40's rented out their land for 3 years while they travelled and tried out some different job/business opportunities. Maybe there are some low risk experiments you can make.

[damsgaard]

I am not Canadian ,but European. My problems two years ago was the same as yours. Now I am maried to a beautiful and intelligent Russian women,and we just got a beautiful little girl.