Canadian Logic:
Osama Bin Laden was sitting in his cave wondering which country to invade
next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Laden" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, down 'ere
at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am callin'
to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you ey!"
"Well Archie," Osama replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your
army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me
cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the
pub. That makes eight!"
Osama paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my army
waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Laden, the war is still
on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?", Osama asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
Osama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000
armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half
million since we last spoke."
"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "Mr. Laden, the war is still on!
We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's
ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the
Legion have joined us as well!"
Osama was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie
that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is
surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "Mr. Laden! I am sorry to have
to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Osama. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat
over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two
million prisoners."
Osama Bin Laden was sitting in his cave wondering which country to invade
next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Laden" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie, down 'ere
at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am callin'
to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you ey!"
"Well Archie," Osama replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your
army?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me
cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the
pub. That makes eight!"
Osama paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my army
waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Laden, the war is still
on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?", Osama asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
Osama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000
armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half
million since we last spoke."
"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "Mr. Laden, the war is still on!
We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's
ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the
Legion have joined us as well!"
Osama was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie
that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is
surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last
spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "Mr. Laden! I am sorry to have
to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Osama. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat
over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two
million prisoners."
Comment