Richard Chad Crane Eulogy
I'm Danny Cugnet. A long time friend of Chad and Michelle and of Matt and Kelly.
Chad Crane was a father, husband, son, grandson, nephew, cousin...and a friend to all of us here.
He was my very dear friend.
I first met Chad when I was 6 years old. Matt and I struck up a friendship in Grade 1.
He was Matts protector, and his big brother and knew him better than anyone.
When I came to the farm for the first time I suddenly found myself looking up to this guy thinking...."Wow! This is what a big brother is supposed to be."
I could follow this guy anywhere.
He was fun and exciting and enigmatic and whether I was 7 or 18 or 34 he was always at the forefront of something new to me that I hadn't heard of or didn't understand yet or even know existed. He was always ahead of his time with many things.
If it was a toy, no one else knew about yet?
Or what's that book?
teenage mutant ninja what??
How many times did I think to myself with something introduced into my life by Chad,
This is amazing....How did he find this stuff?
What band is that?
What's that song?
What video game is that?
Where did you hear it?
What do you mean that's what we are going to be growing here in 10 years?
How do you know so much about amino acids?
What about silver?
Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?
Conversations with Chad always led to more questions and also could be about anything,
Which is what made a chat with him always interesting and entertaining.
Being in his presence was always so stimulating.
He drew people to him.
I said to Tanya just a few months ago. I bet Chad has phoned me a dozen times in my life and I might have called him a dozen times a week at one point for 10 years straight.
People were just attracted to the guy.
It wasn't always in his nature to reach out because I think so many of us were always reaching out to him, Yet he was so social when we were younger.
He was always out and about and was just a really fun guy to hang out with.
It wasn't boring with Chad around.
Michelle and I were talking and she recollected them going on one of their first dates to Regina which turned into Chad saying, "let's go see if there's anywhere we can fly."
To which she thought..."aren't we just getting supper someplace? "
I can think of many times where Chad and I decided to drive somewhere on a whim and go spend a night out in a different city or province. That spontaneity in him was such an attraction to all of us.
He was a farmer as much as he was a philosopher.
Well read and never one to accept a mainstream explanation for something simply because it was mainstream, he had fascinating insight, knowledge and opinions into financial markets, healthcare and agriculture.
Sometimes these observations were spot on, and in others his opinion was quite radical and out there.
At first blush it could have the ring of conspiracy theory, but often if you listened or chatted further about it, it had well informed research to back it up and always got me thinking.
It maybe didn't prove that Chad was right, but it certainly called into question what the definitive or accepted norm was.
He found it impossible to accept most things at face value. He was always questioning. This was as much a gift as it was a curse for him.
It was news to me that he had in fact had quite a well connected network of followers and friends on different agriculture and commodity forums where he posted and conversed often. He wrote often on a multitude of topics.
His user name and moniker, on the Agriville.com site was "Cotton picken"
The outpouring of messages and grief from these friends and followers when learning of Chads death, many of whom who had never met him in person showed how strong that connection was with him and the respect they all had for his keen mind, whether they agreed with him or not. I was stunned to see how many people he had touched over the years.
Two particular descriptions of Chad that caught me from Agriville.com where was when one friend referred to him as a "Cryptic Savant"
And another remembered him as "A Scrapper and a Genius"
My favourite though is from Larry Weber, the head of Weber Commodities who wrote and I quote:
This has been a sad and surreal day.
Cotton's and mine like/hate relationship went back to his PillyPilsner days - long before Cotton surfaced - probably about 2002/03. We never met personally; however, he listened to me speak in Estevan and sent a one line email the next day. "You're not as much of an asshole as I thought you would be".
Our last email exchange was this year.
Godspeed.
May your family find strength in all those your wisdom has touched.
End quote.
All three comments and descriptions above are very fitting. I think these tributes, and there are literally pages of them in the last two days.....speaks to his intellect and humour, and his ability to connect with people so well on so many levels.
There has been an outpouring to me from so many old friends and acquaintances locally, and from far and abroad who shared condolences and memories. Every single person I have spoke with just couldn't believe this has happened as they tried to reconcile it in their minds.
This was not the Chad that any of us knew. The Chad we knew couldn't have done this. He can't really be gone.
Like I stated above, these gifts and attributes that can make us who we are and what people love in us, are also the things that can make our lives difficult and challenging.
As the saying goes, "We are all our own worst enemy."
Chads illness and diagnosis of a brain tumour in the early 2000's, a tumour that began much earlier than that, gave him a much different viewpoint on life and his own mortality.
I know it was terrifying for him, what with a young family started that he dearly loved more than anything.
That fear and illness grew over the years and fed into different fears and other ailments and sickness that Chad lived with and struggled with much more than any of us ever knew.
That initial diagnosis coincided with around Chad and Michelles marriage. So much uncertainty...so much unknown... yet they both were so happy to be married.
Michelle had the courage to stand by him then. And I really want to acknowledge that Michelle has always had the courage to stand by him and support him.
Chad loved his children so very dearly and Michelle.
Throughout his illness, they were his lantern in the darkness. She was his best friend.
As we all know, no matter how strong love is, illness, often is stronger.
To live life on life's terms is a daily challenge for all of us. And when dealing with his health issues and living with the realities of a brain tumour for fifteen years; that challenge became all the more difficult for Chad to accept; With fatal consequences.
Addiction and depression is a disease that manifests in the mind itself.
I can only think this was accelerated catastrophically as a result of this tumour Chad and his family lived with for so long,
The consequences for him were the creation of a self imposed prison that was stronger and more fearsome than any cancer or heart disease.
Chads disease robbed him of any hope he once had, It caused others around him, especially his family, to suffer with his choices and actions,
It has made it so difficult for us all to understand, as these health problems ultimately slowly changed his personality,
of the person that we loved, into someone we didn't recognize all the time anymore.... it warped his thinking process so much that he didn't even recognize himself some days.
And it is so sinister because if it's just cancer or a tumour or Alzheimer's or something like it we can understand,
we can all say he's sick and we can empathize with him.
When it's something like this that is prolonged and has so many moving parts we can't understand why he can't just "try and get better" or "get help" because it seems like it should be something he can just go and do and get more treatment for.
And then we all start to put it on ourselves.
What could I have done?
What should I have done?
How did it get to this?
Chad was very sick and we didn't have the ability to help him, because he also lacked the ability to help himself.
Living with that relentless ringing in his ears and head for twenty years...I can not imagine.
And to be told that you have a tumour that's growing after you have received intensive treatment for it must have been terrifying for him.
This all fed into his disease and alcoholism.
It must have been so terribly lonely and desperate for him, And not because he wasn't loved by all of us here, and especially by Michelle and their children, but because it made him think that this was his only option.
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I'm Danny Cugnet. A long time friend of Chad and Michelle and of Matt and Kelly.
Chad Crane was a father, husband, son, grandson, nephew, cousin...and a friend to all of us here.
He was my very dear friend.
I first met Chad when I was 6 years old. Matt and I struck up a friendship in Grade 1.
He was Matts protector, and his big brother and knew him better than anyone.
When I came to the farm for the first time I suddenly found myself looking up to this guy thinking...."Wow! This is what a big brother is supposed to be."
I could follow this guy anywhere.
He was fun and exciting and enigmatic and whether I was 7 or 18 or 34 he was always at the forefront of something new to me that I hadn't heard of or didn't understand yet or even know existed. He was always ahead of his time with many things.
If it was a toy, no one else knew about yet?
Or what's that book?
teenage mutant ninja what??
How many times did I think to myself with something introduced into my life by Chad,
This is amazing....How did he find this stuff?
What band is that?
What's that song?
What video game is that?
Where did you hear it?
What do you mean that's what we are going to be growing here in 10 years?
How do you know so much about amino acids?
What about silver?
Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?
Conversations with Chad always led to more questions and also could be about anything,
Which is what made a chat with him always interesting and entertaining.
Being in his presence was always so stimulating.
He drew people to him.
I said to Tanya just a few months ago. I bet Chad has phoned me a dozen times in my life and I might have called him a dozen times a week at one point for 10 years straight.
People were just attracted to the guy.
It wasn't always in his nature to reach out because I think so many of us were always reaching out to him, Yet he was so social when we were younger.
He was always out and about and was just a really fun guy to hang out with.
It wasn't boring with Chad around.
Michelle and I were talking and she recollected them going on one of their first dates to Regina which turned into Chad saying, "let's go see if there's anywhere we can fly."
To which she thought..."aren't we just getting supper someplace? "
I can think of many times where Chad and I decided to drive somewhere on a whim and go spend a night out in a different city or province. That spontaneity in him was such an attraction to all of us.
He was a farmer as much as he was a philosopher.
Well read and never one to accept a mainstream explanation for something simply because it was mainstream, he had fascinating insight, knowledge and opinions into financial markets, healthcare and agriculture.
Sometimes these observations were spot on, and in others his opinion was quite radical and out there.
At first blush it could have the ring of conspiracy theory, but often if you listened or chatted further about it, it had well informed research to back it up and always got me thinking.
It maybe didn't prove that Chad was right, but it certainly called into question what the definitive or accepted norm was.
He found it impossible to accept most things at face value. He was always questioning. This was as much a gift as it was a curse for him.
It was news to me that he had in fact had quite a well connected network of followers and friends on different agriculture and commodity forums where he posted and conversed often. He wrote often on a multitude of topics.
His user name and moniker, on the Agriville.com site was "Cotton picken"
The outpouring of messages and grief from these friends and followers when learning of Chads death, many of whom who had never met him in person showed how strong that connection was with him and the respect they all had for his keen mind, whether they agreed with him or not. I was stunned to see how many people he had touched over the years.
Two particular descriptions of Chad that caught me from Agriville.com where was when one friend referred to him as a "Cryptic Savant"
And another remembered him as "A Scrapper and a Genius"
My favourite though is from Larry Weber, the head of Weber Commodities who wrote and I quote:
This has been a sad and surreal day.
Cotton's and mine like/hate relationship went back to his PillyPilsner days - long before Cotton surfaced - probably about 2002/03. We never met personally; however, he listened to me speak in Estevan and sent a one line email the next day. "You're not as much of an asshole as I thought you would be".
Our last email exchange was this year.
Godspeed.
May your family find strength in all those your wisdom has touched.
End quote.
All three comments and descriptions above are very fitting. I think these tributes, and there are literally pages of them in the last two days.....speaks to his intellect and humour, and his ability to connect with people so well on so many levels.
There has been an outpouring to me from so many old friends and acquaintances locally, and from far and abroad who shared condolences and memories. Every single person I have spoke with just couldn't believe this has happened as they tried to reconcile it in their minds.
This was not the Chad that any of us knew. The Chad we knew couldn't have done this. He can't really be gone.
Like I stated above, these gifts and attributes that can make us who we are and what people love in us, are also the things that can make our lives difficult and challenging.
As the saying goes, "We are all our own worst enemy."
Chads illness and diagnosis of a brain tumour in the early 2000's, a tumour that began much earlier than that, gave him a much different viewpoint on life and his own mortality.
I know it was terrifying for him, what with a young family started that he dearly loved more than anything.
That fear and illness grew over the years and fed into different fears and other ailments and sickness that Chad lived with and struggled with much more than any of us ever knew.
That initial diagnosis coincided with around Chad and Michelles marriage. So much uncertainty...so much unknown... yet they both were so happy to be married.
Michelle had the courage to stand by him then. And I really want to acknowledge that Michelle has always had the courage to stand by him and support him.
Chad loved his children so very dearly and Michelle.
Throughout his illness, they were his lantern in the darkness. She was his best friend.
As we all know, no matter how strong love is, illness, often is stronger.
To live life on life's terms is a daily challenge for all of us. And when dealing with his health issues and living with the realities of a brain tumour for fifteen years; that challenge became all the more difficult for Chad to accept; With fatal consequences.
Addiction and depression is a disease that manifests in the mind itself.
I can only think this was accelerated catastrophically as a result of this tumour Chad and his family lived with for so long,
The consequences for him were the creation of a self imposed prison that was stronger and more fearsome than any cancer or heart disease.
Chads disease robbed him of any hope he once had, It caused others around him, especially his family, to suffer with his choices and actions,
It has made it so difficult for us all to understand, as these health problems ultimately slowly changed his personality,
of the person that we loved, into someone we didn't recognize all the time anymore.... it warped his thinking process so much that he didn't even recognize himself some days.
And it is so sinister because if it's just cancer or a tumour or Alzheimer's or something like it we can understand,
we can all say he's sick and we can empathize with him.
When it's something like this that is prolonged and has so many moving parts we can't understand why he can't just "try and get better" or "get help" because it seems like it should be something he can just go and do and get more treatment for.
And then we all start to put it on ourselves.
What could I have done?
What should I have done?
How did it get to this?
Chad was very sick and we didn't have the ability to help him, because he also lacked the ability to help himself.
Living with that relentless ringing in his ears and head for twenty years...I can not imagine.
And to be told that you have a tumour that's growing after you have received intensive treatment for it must have been terrifying for him.
This all fed into his disease and alcoholism.
It must have been so terribly lonely and desperate for him, And not because he wasn't loved by all of us here, and especially by Michelle and their children, but because it made him think that this was his only option.
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