Bush/Martin

[cowman]

Well Paul Martin is going to have breakfast with George this morning. He says he is going to talk about a whole bunch of stuff that concerns Canada.
I wonder if this is how it will go?

Martin:"George, our beef industry is in rough shape because you have closed the borders and won't go with the science. Do you think we could talk about getting the border open?"
George: "no"
Martin: "On the soft wood lumber deal. You've been pretty tough on us and you have imposed numbers that violate our NAFTA agreement. Do you think we could talk about that?"
George:"no"
Martin: George, You aren't being very fair by putting a tariff on our wheat. You know we don't have as many subsidies as you do. Do you think you can do something about the tariff?"
George: Why sure! Get rid of that wheat board and let Cargill run the show. Then we can talk."
Martin:" George, our big eastern companies need to make some money on the Iraq reconstruction deal. I know we ignored your little adventure and didn't participate. What will it take to make this right?"
George: Talk to Dick Cheney about this. He handles all these money deals. I'm sure if the money is right we can work something out. Oh, and be prepared to send some soldiers for cannon fodder. We're having some trouble with the people back home getting sick of their kids coming home in body bags."
Martin:"George, we want to participate in the missile shield. We want to be part of protecting America even though you brought all this hate on yourselves by being bullys and thieves all over the world."
George: "Now you're talking boy! Have you got your checkbook handy?"
Martin: Well thank you Mr. Bush! You've pretty well solved most of my problems that really matter. Now do I make this check out to the US government or to you personally?"

[ivbinconned]

George: Hey Paul, is'nt it true that that most of your ships are called sweat ships and are licenced off shore so you can avoid paying Canadian taxes and avoid Canadian labor standards.

Paul: Uhh... err... a a a... I I I don't want to go there!

George: Well atleast I represent my countrymen....you only represent Paul Martin.

Paul: true...true...but...but

George: ya and I notice that it is one of our labs that has come up with a live cow BSE test....I suppose you want us to share that with you?

George: Is'nt it also true that you were the finnance minister up in Canada and you played a part in maintaining a low dollar that saw the U.S. aquire important parts of your economy.

Paul: yes...well...we didn't think...

George: I know...I know...most Liberals don't.

George: Say Paul...you know how to make a Conservative mad...tell him a lie! Do you know how to make a Liberal mad...tell him the truth!



Cowman: maybe you get up to early in the morning. My point here is that there may be corruption all the way to the top in U.S. politics and industry. But there is also no doubt that we live in a glass house with coruption all the way to the top in Canada.

If Americans listen to saskatoon talk radio or the CBC where anti American slop is metered out daily it is no wonder that they might care less about Canadians.

Some people here have a tendancy to paint with a wide brush, and when we do we are as guilty as any American who does the same to us.

Me thinks that before we can accuse, ridicule, dispise, point fingers etc we had better clean up our own mess first. And I think we have a much bigger task ahead of us than do our American friends because the CRTC and CBC do every thing they can to keep our scum at the top.

I know that the west keeps trying to effect this...but we keep avoiding the reality of the math.

A better conversation might have gone like this:
George: Hi Ralph...

Ralph: Hi George, say I really want to impress upon you that we sure hope you don't punish Western Canada for the policies of Ottawa. You see.. we in the West don't have any impact on anything that Ottawa decides.
In fact you could look at Western Canada as a separate area ...just like Ottawa does.

George: interesting...tell me more...

Ralph: we don't have the time...

[cowman]

Well Ivebinconned it was supposed to be funny...
However I am quite shocked by your attitude toward our leader! It shows a definite need for reprogramming as you obviously haven't been getting with the program and watching enough CBC! I wonder if we could find you a space in one of the camps in Siberia?
Hey I have to be up early for the 3 A.M. cow check. What else is there to do but think up crazy things?

[ivbinconned]

Well atleast I wouldn't have to get up at 3 to check the cows...I think they all still belong to Putin.

[cowman]

Ivebinconned: No unfortunately they belong to me. So up I get and take care of them! This damned capitalistic system! Life isn't easy in the real world?