Work-Life Balance

[Blaithin]

Seen this article doing the rounds today.

https://thelifeofafarmer.com/2023/04/14/the-struggle-to-find-a-work-life-balance/

A few select, obviously possibly sheltered, people are denying this is an issue and farmers should just suck it up and deal with it. Oilfield workers and truckers have it worse, or something along those lines.

However many others are giving their pointers and thoughts on how they’re improving their work-life balance on the farm.

To me it’s mainly the men that I think A) struggle with this and B) are blindsided by the repercussions when they eventually catch up to them.

Of course this may be because most farmers are men and men are also pretty good at avoiding uncomfortable things.

Either way, being a forum of predominantly fellas, I figured it could be worth discussing here.

Do you guys feel you have good work-life balance or was it something you worked to improve over the years?

What are some things you did to improve it?

What were/are the biggest hurdles and struggles you faced?

The article starts off mentioning feeling anxious just opening Twitter because it’s so full of farmers posting what they’re working on that it makes him feel like he needs to get back to work. It’s interesting as that aspect has never entered my mind but absolutely makes sense.

[Landdownunder]

harvest and seeding and shearing tricky but try to set aside preferably a day with the missus doing something she wants to do or two half days.

could be as simple as visiting family having freinds over for dinner or even weekly shop followed by a restuarant meal.

two or three one week breaks during year if not more

and photography for me if storms are about i chase them unless extreme fire danger

my dad used to work 5 and half days a week either sat morning or sunday arvo not negoiatable

[jazz]

Do you guys feel you have good work-life balance or was it something you worked to improve over the years?

My work life balance improved big time after I quit my soul sucking corporate job.

[Retired]

If you enjoy your work is that not a balance???? Kind of like the man said you work 36 hr per week WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO AFTER WEDNESDAY.

[Stormin]

Since I started farming I haven't worked a day.

[Blaithin]

If you enjoy your work is that not a balance???? Kind of like the man said you work 36 hr per week WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO AFTER WEDNESDAY.

I’m not approaching it as a “how happy are you if you work 23 hours a day”.

How happy is your marriage and how good is your relationship with your kids if you’re working 23 hours a day.

Farmers have the ability to be very flexible in their schedule and like any entrepreneur, their work day length is largely in their own hands. For a variety of reasons and for many farmers, these advantages aren’t utilized, or utilized consistently, though.

It’s interesting the types of comments that have come out of this article.

Creating schedules. Finding staff. Downsizing.

All the way too There’s no problem. Suck it up. Life isn’t easy.

I feel like many are missing the aspect of not how such a work-life balance impacts them, but how it impacts their family, marriage and children.

It’s interesting that the people set on engaging their kids and setting time aside for their family are ones who seem to have direct experience with a really badly balanced parent, or experience with a relationship going sour due to a poor balance, while others who just say “my parents have been married 40 years” feel like there’s no chance of an issue arising.

[furrowtickler]

Just use Woodland as a case study . He is one of few that seems to have it figured out quite well.

[jazz]

Blaithin, my dad worked like an animal running a mixed grain cattle operation, but he was always around the family and enjoyed his work. Way more than my cousins corporate slave dad who came home so stressed out he wouldnt even talk to his family.

But that meant our family had zero holidays or recreational time other than what went on in town some days. I think my mom wanted more than just to stare at cows all winter.

You will never run your wheels off more than trying to have an off farm job and farm at the same time. I did that for 10 yrs. My wife was pretty shook when I quit a 6 figure job to go farming.

Now I grain farm, no livestock, trade stocks from the beach in the winter. My wife is CEO of the household and I am around my kids like 80% of the time. Its a dream life but took a while to get it set up.

[Blaithin]

I’m glad you succeeded to get to where you are Jazz.

I think a lot of it does come down to good communication within the marriage. (Isn’t that what they always say? 😂) Setting boundaries with the SO and being open if something changes and it’s not working anymore.

Raising toddlers is different than kids up to 10 is totally different to teenagers. What a wife or husband wants is different the first few years vs 10 years or 20 years in. If there’s no communication around this evolution, evolution that happens to everyone, then there’s just going to be divergence between people no matter what. A lot probably boils down to people just not talking more-so than a poor work-life balance, but you also can’t talk the talk without walking the walk.

You’ve got to be open to it too though. Can’t just sit back and think you’ll be able to carry on the same for 20 years. Your kids aren’t going to come to you and say they’re feeling left behind or forgotten, it’s the adults place to recognize this. And while some kids will be fine hanging out with parents on the farm and having a parent take a day off for a birthday, others will go through stages of their lives where they require more.

It’s kind of amusing the way farmers have to be so flexible with their plans on the farm yet so many seem to feel their personal lives will stay rigid and consistent. Like human nature is not as changeable as Mother Nature.

[AlbertaFarmer5]

Blaithin, my dad worked like an animal running a mixed grain cattle operation, but he was always around the family and enjoyed his work. Way more than my cousins corporate slave dad who came home so stressed out he wouldnt even talk to his family.

But that meant our family had zero holidays or recreational time other than what went on in town some days. I think my mom wanted more than just to stare at cows all winter.

You will never run your wheels off more than trying to have an off farm job and farm at the same time. I did that for 10 yrs. My wife was pretty shook when I quit a 6 figure job to go farming.

Now I grain farm, no livestock, trade stocks from the beach in the winter. My wife is CEO of the household and I am around my kids like 80% of the time. Its a dream life but took a while to get it set up.

Almost a carbon copy of my story.
We took a grand total of one holiday with our parents, without even leaving the province. But I was fortunate enough to be able to work side by side with my dad all those years, and wouldn't trade that for any lifestyle of the Rich and famous. I've never considered this to be work. I would wager that we spent more quality time with our kids than any working stiff I know of.

This is a conversation I probably should have had when I first got married. After spending that many years working around the clock every day of the year between off farm job and farming, transitioning to doing anything else was not easy.