The joke's on them
Ric Dolphin - Monday,19 September 2005
Western Standard
Canada--love it or leave it. Well, if the record of our latest governess general is any example, we can now do both. Michaëlle Jean's by now storied toast to the revolution, combined with her semi-avowals of fealty to the country is the opera-bouffant stuff that makes this country so laughable under the Liberals. Of course the Gallic sense of humour has always been partial to broad farce. And anything Gallic, to the ruling classes in Ottawawa (to use the original Ojibwa term, roughly translating as the goose that dines on its own droppings), is always in fashion. Jerry Lewis? Man's a genius. Mimes? Gotta love 'em. Separatists in Parliament? Droll as hell.
But the appointment of a second, leftist, CBC-suckled, Montreal-based "woman of colour" married to a Marxist intellectuel would have been Nutty Professor enough. To have the vicereine revealed as a toaster of Quebec separatism only belabours the comedic point. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. You see, the funny chicken was on one side of the road and needed to get to the other, so he crossed the road . . . Apparently the French lap this stuff up.
The joke inside the joke, of course, is that it isn't a joke at all, but merely (wink, wink) realpolitik in a country that has been run at the pleasure of her ladyship, Quebec. The Liberals lost a bunch of seats there in the last election and must do all they can to mollify and retrench. When Prime Minister Paul Martin's main operative in Quebec--Hélene Scherrer, the former heritage minister who lost her seat to Roger Clavet of the Bloc, a Radio-Canada colleague of Jean's (stop it, you're killing me!)--suggested Michaëlle as the perfect replacement to Madame Clarkson, the PM grabbed on with all 10 fingernails. Voila: the Queen's representative transformed into Quebec's representative. Delicieux, n'est pas?
The Bloc insurgence in the last election, along with recent public polls, suggests the majority of Quebecers are, once again, leaning toward separation. Zut alors! What is a government to do under such dire and unusual circumstances? Easy. It pours hundreds of millions of dollars of sponsorship money into Quebec pockets. It welcomes erstwhile separatists into cabinet. It backs off on its holy fight for nationalized medicine and strong federalism and allows Quebec an "asymmetrical" side deal. It appoints another CBC hack--this one with marital and historical ties to the revolutionary FLQ--as the governor general.
In the Eurotopian bistros of central Canada, of course, there's nothing particularly untoward about the process. After all, Canada's Parliament has been home to the separatist Bloc for a generation. In those countries that don't operate under the tenets of French farce, this might seem odd. Most nations still tend to discourage treasonous activities. Yet even though treason was, last time I looked, punishable under the Criminal Code by up to 14 years in jail, it's a word--like patriotism, loyalty, et cetera--that isn't heard in smart café society. It would certainly be most hurtful to direct such a word at those clever French Canadians who would rend the country asunder.
But one wonders even about the seriousness of the urge to demerge. In the National Post, following the revelation of the new GG's separatist past, André Pratte, editor of the Montreal newspaper La Presse, spoke of the capricious nature of separatist feeling in his province. "I know it's difficult for English Canadians to grasp," he said, with just a soupçon of the charming Gallic condescension that so endears these people to us. "But many Quebecers have changed their minds many times."
His words were followed with some supercilious remarks from Benoît Pelletier, the provincial Liberal minister of intergovernmental affairs. Benny's the constitutional lawyer who thrashed out last fall's asymmetrical health deal with Ottawa. He opined that the rest of Canada needs to show Quebec more respect if it wants to quiet the sovereignistas. "There is some sort of condition upon their adhesion to Canada," Benny lectured. "The condition is always that they should see that their identity is respected and has a fair chance to flourish."
Those billions of dollars a year in equalization payments to support the country's most bloated government and its most comprehensive cradle-to-grave welfare system don't hurt either. But apparently respect--at least if you listen to Premier Jean Charest's prolonged bleat about désquilibre fiscal--will cost us another $2 billion or so a year. Why did the Québécois chicken cross the road? Well, actually, it only threatened to.
The Ottawa-sponsored Quebec pantomime naturally causes consternation among us knuckle-dragging troglodytes out here in the land of honest toil. This magazine conducted a poll a few weeks ago that showed a record 35.6 per cent of westerners agreed with the statement, "Western Canadians should begin to explore the idea of forming their own country." Not a bad idea, but one that has been shuffling around aimlessly for decades. The best we ever did was that single Western Canada Concept party MLA who won an Alberta by-election at the height of the National Energy Program. Now what was his name? Wore a cowboy hat . . .
As faithful readers know, my preference is the Albumbia option; the creation of a super-province through the amalgamation of Alberta and British Columbia. Such a political bloc--a province of the magnitude envisioned before 1905 when the Laurier government, bowing to the wishes of Quebec, carved the West into manageable pieces--could stamp its 15-million feet and get the sort of respect that la belle province has always counted as a birthright.
Alberta and B.C. have made some moves in the direction of joint jurisdiction over things like weigh scales, school textbooks and oil-and-gas regulation, but the political audacity necessary for historic change is absent.
Ralph Klein has periodically climbed onto his hind legs and promised to defy Ottawa on such matters as private health clinics, the gun registry and gay marriage. Alas, he has always climbed down again, proving to be--as they say in these parts--all hat and no cattle.
Ralph's recent party piece for the premiers attending the Council of the Federation meeting in Banff (he dressed up as the Lone Ranger, defending Alberta's oil wealth against federal incursion) seemed particularly poignant. Does anyone truly believe that if Ottawa gets a hankering to skim a few billion more petrobucks from Alberta to quell the caterwauling in Quebec and Ontario that the masked joker's going to stop them?
Premier Gordon Campbell, doing a decent job, economically speaking, of bringing B.C. back from the NDP brink, has shown no inclination to build a western counterbalance to central Canada. Gordo's most ardent desire is to survive one more election and preside over the 2010 Winter Olympics. Each of these premiers seems content to canter toward his political sunset with as little bother as possible. Heigh ho, Silver, and to bed.
Ironically, it could be Quebec that provides the catalyst for the West to emerge from its torpor. Klein may have talked big about health care reform for years and did nothing. But last fall, Charest demanded and got the freedom to operate outside the Canada Health Act (the "asymmetrical" thing) and Alberta now has some coattails to ride. The Supreme Court's recent Chaoulli decision (based on a Quebec case) finding parallel private care constitutional, further emboldened Klein. He announced in July that Alberta will license private surgeries for "non-emergency" operations. (Details remain sketchy.)
Now Pelletier, avatar of Quebec's eternal quest for respect, is talking about new national initiatives for the pouty child of Confederation. Initially, says the minister, the province will seek equal standing with Ottawa at international negotiations affecting Quebec. Later on, the province will look to open up the 1982 Constitution Act--the one Quebec refused to sign onto after its bid for "distinct society" status was shot down by national referendum 13 years ago. This time, Quebec will demand that its "specificity" be enshrined. It also wants a say in selecting senators and Supreme Court justices.
Opening up the Constitution could be good for those who seek greater powers for the West. When the question of creating an equal and elected Senate was raised during the last election, Martin said he wasn't about to reopen the Constitution. That was around the same time he was talking about making an effort to quell western alienation.
Western alienation is a mere annoyance compared to the real problem of Quebec stamping its feet and holding its breath. Now Quebec wants the Constitution reopened. If the appointment of a separatist as GG proves anything, it's that Quebec can have anything it wants if there's a chance it'll elect more Liberals. In the next couple of years, expect the Constitution to be reopened.
That would provide coattails indeed for the West. Not only would it afford an opportunity to negotiate a more regionally representative senate, it would also give us an opportunity to enshrine new, Quebec-like powers for ourselves, perhaps even redraw the Confederate map. With luck, Alberta and B.C. will by then possess some political operatives with the audacity to seize the initiative and act. The alternative is to remain the eternal butt of a tiresome French joke. And out here, there's not a lot of us laughing.
Ric Dolphin - Monday,19 September 2005
Western Standard
Canada--love it or leave it. Well, if the record of our latest governess general is any example, we can now do both. Michaëlle Jean's by now storied toast to the revolution, combined with her semi-avowals of fealty to the country is the opera-bouffant stuff that makes this country so laughable under the Liberals. Of course the Gallic sense of humour has always been partial to broad farce. And anything Gallic, to the ruling classes in Ottawawa (to use the original Ojibwa term, roughly translating as the goose that dines on its own droppings), is always in fashion. Jerry Lewis? Man's a genius. Mimes? Gotta love 'em. Separatists in Parliament? Droll as hell.
But the appointment of a second, leftist, CBC-suckled, Montreal-based "woman of colour" married to a Marxist intellectuel would have been Nutty Professor enough. To have the vicereine revealed as a toaster of Quebec separatism only belabours the comedic point. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. You see, the funny chicken was on one side of the road and needed to get to the other, so he crossed the road . . . Apparently the French lap this stuff up.
The joke inside the joke, of course, is that it isn't a joke at all, but merely (wink, wink) realpolitik in a country that has been run at the pleasure of her ladyship, Quebec. The Liberals lost a bunch of seats there in the last election and must do all they can to mollify and retrench. When Prime Minister Paul Martin's main operative in Quebec--Hélene Scherrer, the former heritage minister who lost her seat to Roger Clavet of the Bloc, a Radio-Canada colleague of Jean's (stop it, you're killing me!)--suggested Michaëlle as the perfect replacement to Madame Clarkson, the PM grabbed on with all 10 fingernails. Voila: the Queen's representative transformed into Quebec's representative. Delicieux, n'est pas?
The Bloc insurgence in the last election, along with recent public polls, suggests the majority of Quebecers are, once again, leaning toward separation. Zut alors! What is a government to do under such dire and unusual circumstances? Easy. It pours hundreds of millions of dollars of sponsorship money into Quebec pockets. It welcomes erstwhile separatists into cabinet. It backs off on its holy fight for nationalized medicine and strong federalism and allows Quebec an "asymmetrical" side deal. It appoints another CBC hack--this one with marital and historical ties to the revolutionary FLQ--as the governor general.
In the Eurotopian bistros of central Canada, of course, there's nothing particularly untoward about the process. After all, Canada's Parliament has been home to the separatist Bloc for a generation. In those countries that don't operate under the tenets of French farce, this might seem odd. Most nations still tend to discourage treasonous activities. Yet even though treason was, last time I looked, punishable under the Criminal Code by up to 14 years in jail, it's a word--like patriotism, loyalty, et cetera--that isn't heard in smart café society. It would certainly be most hurtful to direct such a word at those clever French Canadians who would rend the country asunder.
But one wonders even about the seriousness of the urge to demerge. In the National Post, following the revelation of the new GG's separatist past, André Pratte, editor of the Montreal newspaper La Presse, spoke of the capricious nature of separatist feeling in his province. "I know it's difficult for English Canadians to grasp," he said, with just a soupçon of the charming Gallic condescension that so endears these people to us. "But many Quebecers have changed their minds many times."
His words were followed with some supercilious remarks from Benoît Pelletier, the provincial Liberal minister of intergovernmental affairs. Benny's the constitutional lawyer who thrashed out last fall's asymmetrical health deal with Ottawa. He opined that the rest of Canada needs to show Quebec more respect if it wants to quiet the sovereignistas. "There is some sort of condition upon their adhesion to Canada," Benny lectured. "The condition is always that they should see that their identity is respected and has a fair chance to flourish."
Those billions of dollars a year in equalization payments to support the country's most bloated government and its most comprehensive cradle-to-grave welfare system don't hurt either. But apparently respect--at least if you listen to Premier Jean Charest's prolonged bleat about désquilibre fiscal--will cost us another $2 billion or so a year. Why did the Québécois chicken cross the road? Well, actually, it only threatened to.
The Ottawa-sponsored Quebec pantomime naturally causes consternation among us knuckle-dragging troglodytes out here in the land of honest toil. This magazine conducted a poll a few weeks ago that showed a record 35.6 per cent of westerners agreed with the statement, "Western Canadians should begin to explore the idea of forming their own country." Not a bad idea, but one that has been shuffling around aimlessly for decades. The best we ever did was that single Western Canada Concept party MLA who won an Alberta by-election at the height of the National Energy Program. Now what was his name? Wore a cowboy hat . . .
As faithful readers know, my preference is the Albumbia option; the creation of a super-province through the amalgamation of Alberta and British Columbia. Such a political bloc--a province of the magnitude envisioned before 1905 when the Laurier government, bowing to the wishes of Quebec, carved the West into manageable pieces--could stamp its 15-million feet and get the sort of respect that la belle province has always counted as a birthright.
Alberta and B.C. have made some moves in the direction of joint jurisdiction over things like weigh scales, school textbooks and oil-and-gas regulation, but the political audacity necessary for historic change is absent.
Ralph Klein has periodically climbed onto his hind legs and promised to defy Ottawa on such matters as private health clinics, the gun registry and gay marriage. Alas, he has always climbed down again, proving to be--as they say in these parts--all hat and no cattle.
Ralph's recent party piece for the premiers attending the Council of the Federation meeting in Banff (he dressed up as the Lone Ranger, defending Alberta's oil wealth against federal incursion) seemed particularly poignant. Does anyone truly believe that if Ottawa gets a hankering to skim a few billion more petrobucks from Alberta to quell the caterwauling in Quebec and Ontario that the masked joker's going to stop them?
Premier Gordon Campbell, doing a decent job, economically speaking, of bringing B.C. back from the NDP brink, has shown no inclination to build a western counterbalance to central Canada. Gordo's most ardent desire is to survive one more election and preside over the 2010 Winter Olympics. Each of these premiers seems content to canter toward his political sunset with as little bother as possible. Heigh ho, Silver, and to bed.
Ironically, it could be Quebec that provides the catalyst for the West to emerge from its torpor. Klein may have talked big about health care reform for years and did nothing. But last fall, Charest demanded and got the freedom to operate outside the Canada Health Act (the "asymmetrical" thing) and Alberta now has some coattails to ride. The Supreme Court's recent Chaoulli decision (based on a Quebec case) finding parallel private care constitutional, further emboldened Klein. He announced in July that Alberta will license private surgeries for "non-emergency" operations. (Details remain sketchy.)
Now Pelletier, avatar of Quebec's eternal quest for respect, is talking about new national initiatives for the pouty child of Confederation. Initially, says the minister, the province will seek equal standing with Ottawa at international negotiations affecting Quebec. Later on, the province will look to open up the 1982 Constitution Act--the one Quebec refused to sign onto after its bid for "distinct society" status was shot down by national referendum 13 years ago. This time, Quebec will demand that its "specificity" be enshrined. It also wants a say in selecting senators and Supreme Court justices.
Opening up the Constitution could be good for those who seek greater powers for the West. When the question of creating an equal and elected Senate was raised during the last election, Martin said he wasn't about to reopen the Constitution. That was around the same time he was talking about making an effort to quell western alienation.
Western alienation is a mere annoyance compared to the real problem of Quebec stamping its feet and holding its breath. Now Quebec wants the Constitution reopened. If the appointment of a separatist as GG proves anything, it's that Quebec can have anything it wants if there's a chance it'll elect more Liberals. In the next couple of years, expect the Constitution to be reopened.
That would provide coattails indeed for the West. Not only would it afford an opportunity to negotiate a more regionally representative senate, it would also give us an opportunity to enshrine new, Quebec-like powers for ourselves, perhaps even redraw the Confederate map. With luck, Alberta and B.C. will by then possess some political operatives with the audacity to seize the initiative and act. The alternative is to remain the eternal butt of a tiresome French joke. And out here, there's not a lot of us laughing.
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