Courtesy and common sense

[cakadu]

It seems to me that once upon a time we operated under these norms and values. Today, they seem to be going the way of the dodo bird. More and more we encounter people who are just out for themselves and they do not care at all how inconvenienced you are.

Case in point. I parked at a shopping centre on two separate occasions. The first time I had cars on either side of me and someone had parked in the lane dropping off a kid to someone who was picking him up. Clearly he could see he was in the way, but was in no way inclined to move. He gestured that I could go around and I suppose I could have jockeyed my car around for 10 minutes to finally squeeze out. He did finally back up but not before gesturing a few things in my direction.

The other time was today. I parked quite properly between the lines, went in to shop and came out only to find that a huge Ford 350 extended cab had angled into the spot next to me and left about 2 inches between my back bumper and his vehicle. I am sick to death of having to jockey around these folks, so I went into the store to have the owner paged to come out and move his vehicle. Yes, it was a him.

Clearly you could see that he had parked all kitty whompus as his back end was sufficently over the line and angled into the spot. When he came out, he asked what the problem was and I pointed out to him that he didn't park too well. Instead of saying something to the effect of "yeah, I didn't do such a great job did I", he proceeded to say he would move if it would make me happy. I politely suggested to him that if he was going to drive something like that, he should at least learn how to drive and park it properly.

What ever happened to common sense and courtesy? Is the only thing we relate to these days the almighty dollar and what is in it for me?

[farmers_son]

At least in cities and towns, some aspects of common sense and courtesy are mandated through bylaws and building permits. Shopping centers are no doubt required to provide a certain amount of parking. I am thinking the size of those parking spaces has decreased over the years. That would certainly tie in with your comment re the almighty dollar, the malls save money by cramming more cars into smaller spaces. I suspect if you are thinking back to a simpler more friendly time that then towns and businesses provided more space for parking. Is the problem the people shopping at the malls or the people designing the parking spots as well as the people who create the standards and building codes that the malls must meet.

I would also suggest the size of the parking spaces has not kept up with the larger vehicles that have been on the road since about 1973 when the first extended cab truck appeared on the market not to mention the one ton dually which did not really exist when I was young and certainly back then would never be parked on mainstreet or with passenger vehicles. However there is an expectation today that these larger vehicles are entitled to park with the standard car and pickup truck but the size of the spots has not changed. By the way I drive an extended cab full size pickup and although parking is a pain I still need to park.

For the most part I think people are courteous and use common sense and are guided by the principle of do unto others as you would have others do unto you. However I am not in the cities very much. I have found it always a good policy to be courteous to people even if, in my mind, I might be justified in being curt because darned if you do not run into them again somewhere else.

[coppertop]

This thread can also translate into how people deal with one another in a community. In our county a development permit is required to operate a trucking business, etc. in an agriculture zoned district. It is not necessarily a 'given' that an application will be approved. Recently a couple moved here from elsewhere, and started operating a heavy equipment business off their farm. They had no permit, and when the neighbours called them to complain about trucks loading and unloading at all hours of the night, and continual damange to the roadway, they were given the royal salute the next time they met the business owener on the roadway.

The couple finally had to apply for a development permit and in the course of the planning commission meeting they referred to their neighbours as nosy 'old hags' !!!

They were given a very restrictive permit, restricted to hours of operation, no heavy equipment on site and no washing of vehicles on site. Their permit will be reviewed in one year, and if there have many valid complaints from the neighbours their permit will be revoked. How much better this entire situation would have evolved if the people who own the business, would have talked to their neighbours before they started operating from their farm, and when they did get a complaint, if they would have been courteous and attempted to rectify the situation.

[cakadu]

I agree with what you say, farmers_son and don't have any dispute with the fact that we all have to park. Even people with fancier cars park in spaces at an angle to avoid getting "precious" scratched or dinged.

What I do take issue with, is how people park in a spot. In my case, the fellow very definitely went in at an angle and left, at best, 2 inches for me to back my car out. Now I could have done it, but I am sick to death of people not giving a hoot about anyone but themselves. He had a difficult time squeezing himself in the door to move his truck.

Talking with people is always the way to go to try and avoid problems. I agree with you there coppertop.

It always brings a smile to my face when I think about the adage "it takes 42 muscles to smile, but only 4 to reach out and whack someone upside the head." Not being prone to violence I wouldn't advocate doing it, but thinking it sometimes helps to take my mind off of things.

It's really a sad reflection on us when you see things deteriorating so badly.

[raymondb]

I know that there are alot of courteous and nice people out there. One day in Calgary I parked in the only spot left in the parking lot. This spot was at the end of the row and the vehicle to my left was on the parking line. I squeezed in my supercab truck. There was just enough room for my passenger to get out and walk sideways so as not to scratch the car next to me. After we were done shopping we went back to the parking lot. The vehicle next to me was gone and he did not sc**** my truck. He was the dumbest urban person as he wrote his name(through the mud) on my passenger door.He only wrote his first name--How many "*****" do you know?

[farmers_son]

That reminds me of a story a neighbour told many years back of a trip he took to the city and when he got back someone asked him how he made out driving in city traffic for the first time. He replied it was no problem, that the city people were really friendly and many waved and honked their horns when they passed him.

It is hard to tell if people act differently today than in the past, if courtesy and common sense are harder to come by today. I do see where stores like Walmart will deliberately make people stand in line and set up their parking lots with not enough room. It makes people grumpy but I guess they still shop there.

[coppertop]

Our WalMart has a huge parking lot, in fact lots of people go there with their RV's in the summer as the load up with stuff for vacation. I don't go there very often but I have never seen the parking lot full, and the parking spots are wide enough for any SUV or super cab.

Our Home Hardware store parking leaves lots to be desired, what with contractors coming in for supplies, and every day shoppers. When people are picking up gardening supplies, bedding plants etc. it can be a nightmare to park there.

Our local IGA is worse !!! I usually go there at 8:00 AM to avoid the crowd in the parking lot.

I really think that for every ignorant person we encounter there are dozens of folks that are thoughtful and courteous